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selena1988

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About selena1988

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    Advanced Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    NA
  • Date of Death
    Na
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Na

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    NYC

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  1. Hi! I just wanted to update this topic. Over the past five weeks, my boyfriend and I have dealt with so much pain and difficulties, but I'm happy and proud (of us both) to say; we're stronger and more in love than ever. If I can share two things I've learnt since he got the dreadful news that his mother was in her terminal phase of her disease last year, it boils down to two things; kindness and trust. So simple, yet so difficult. In every relationship (and especially when things aren't heading the direction we want), it's easy to let doubt kick in. Does he/she really want me
  2. Thank you so much for sharing these resources, Marty. I'll definetely take a closer look at them.
  3. Hi kayc Thank you so much for your beautiful and thought of response as always. I really appreciate your kind words and faith in my decision. Also, I really admire the effort you put into responding to everyone here.😻 Sorry for the bit of a delayed response on my end. I've been taking some time offline to focus on my family, my boyfriend and just enjoying the holidays. I've had some good discussions with my boyfriend about this topic, and for now I've decided to invest the amount. I need some perspective to be sure of my decisions and there's no rush to spend anything. If anyth
  4. Proud of you. I know this must be very difficult for you. Would love to hear how things pan out for you. Wish you too a happy new year, must 2021 be filled with love, hope, and new beginnings. Maybe, in a weird way, this was the final push you needed to break free. Take care 🌸
  5. Thanks for making that clear, that changes the context a little bit. If you do decide to send her a "clean slate" message, maybe add this part to it. Sum it up the way you did to me, I think she would appreciate that. Then follow up on your plan. As much as we want to remain friends with our exes, it's very difficult, especially straight of the bat. Although you may not intend to put any pressure on her, she can still feel that's the case. That's the problem; feelings are too raw. It sounds like the movie night was a miscommunication. I can totally understand why you feel hurt, and
  6. I'm so sorry to hear about the latest development. I understand that you feel she hasn't provided you the ending/closure you needed, but here's the thing; more often than not, that's unfortunately the case. In your opinion, her saying she suddenly lost feelings doesn't make sense, while for her, that's the reality and her telling you that was her way of providing you closure. You have every right to feel betrayed and hurt, but unfortunately, you won't get the closure you need from her. Sometimes we need to find the closure within ourselves. When she doesn't respond about meeti
  7. I'm so happy to hear that it helped, Baxter.💗 To be honest, she said she doesn't have feelings and although her perspective is a little lost, I still feel that you posting on your blog, sending her messages, trying to convince her, isn't the way to go. In fact, I have a feeling that the more you do this, the further she pushes her away. Let's turn the tables; in her opinion, she shared her true feelings (she's not in love with you anymore), and you keep on asking her to meet up, try to show her how her judgement is clouded... if she has no feelings left, this behaviour will probably
  8. I lost my beautiful brother a few months ago, and although I'm doing okay, I struggle with the fact that I'll never meet him again. Given the fact that I've down a lot of therapy previously, and worked on myself, I understand why I in some aspects seem to move on 'easily' (if one ever can compare these things) to others. Every day I try to remind myself that he'd want me to be happy, he'd want me to be a boss babe for my lovely niece, but it hurts to realize that I'm working towards things and a future, he'll never have. A few days ago, my mother offered me some money that she was
  9. Hi Baxter, Please forgive if I lost out on any details, however I feel that this topic helped me understand the big lines. First of all, let me start by saying that I'm truly sorry for your situation. Going through a heartbreak is never easy, and speaking from my experience- I know that the first love leaves a long lasting impression. As I've mentioned to several people, I feel you deserve better than this. Of course losing a loved one is difficult, and we can't blame people for reacting to such a difficult situation, however, I do feel that we can expect them to treat us with
  10. Hi Baxter, Thank you so much for your kind words. No people or relationships are similar, so it's difficult to predict whether we're doing better- that said I'm proud of myself and him both for maintaining an open and clear line of communication. Good to hear from you. I've been reading your posts here, and in your own thread. Just wanted to make sure I'm up to speed on the latest development, but thought I'd respond to you in that topic. A lot of details to skim through. Just an idea that hit me, if you and/or @CommanderCodyfeels it would help, I'd love to ask my boyfriend to
  11. I kindly disagree with you there. If someone is in a relationship, they can't just leave things hanging the way Alek did. Look, the reason why I've been offline for a couple of weeks is because my boyfriend and I hit a rough patch in our relationship. First he told me that he needed some time to progress our relationship the way we wanted - which is fair. He's not himself fully right now, and although there were a few minor details I wished he approached differently, I'd still say he's doing a damn good job. 1) He wanted to discuss options with me, even when I wanted to call th
  12. Of course. Getting over someone is difficult and will take time. Most relationship experts recommend people that are dealing with a break up to go no contact and focus on themselves. Make sure you're the best version of yourself. If you were to divide your life into three categories; health, wealth and relationships, what needs work? Mental health/getting in shape? A promotion at work/put more effort into studies? Find a new hobby? Expand your friend's circle? By finding new goals your energy will automatically start to shift.
  13. I feel like I'm repeating myself, please forgive me if I do, however I don't think that anything you said/did would change the outcome. She still wouldn't put in effort or communicate properly. Any healthy relationship need those qualities to progress.
  14. I'm sorry if I come across a bit harsh, but kayc is absolutely right; right now your behaviour is not constructive. I acknowledge that this might not be what you want to hear, but you can't control external factors, the only thing you can control is your reaction to them. We can keep on running in circles, however it doesn't change the fact that your ex remains your ex. Nothing that KayC or I say will change her behaviour. She is who she is, and she wants someone who wants to comfort her without providing anything in return - those are the hard facts. I definitely feel that you sho
  15. Thank you for providing additional details - that's helpful. That said, I feel my point still remains; she needs to save herself (and part of that is to get better at communicating). Communicating that you have a difficult time and need space is not the way to build a future with someone. It's basically her molding her own recovery/future without including you in it. Again, all people are different, but I just want to share my boyfriend's approach (just to illustrate the difference): As I've mentioned he's in his country of origin at the time being, and has stayed there since his mother's
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