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Itiolalove

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Everything posted by Itiolalove

  1. Thank you. She has given me two new options. saying we don’t have to marry, but she has to move in with me or she aborts the baby. I told her moving in is what I don’t want as I need my space for now and I want to be alone most of the time while I heal. she’s insisting, if I can’t allow her move in, then she has to abort the baby.
  2. Thanks a lot for this. I will be strong in my stand and do what I feel is right.
  3. Thank you @MartyT. Yes, I am ready to provide child support and be there as a father but I do not want to get married for now. I will try to be strong and stand my ground. Appreciate the reply.
  4. In 2017, was arrested for a white collar crime, plead guilty, I was jailed and I was out December 29 2018. I was struggling with myself and my life at that point. I had lost everything and was going through a lot of pain as I felt I had let my family down. My mother was distraught and sad, all through this event. I met a lady in June 2019 on a dating app which I decided to try as I lost my self belief and confidence, when I met her. She was 3 years older with a 10 year old child. I told her my story and she accepted to still be with me. So we started dating officially in August 2019, after some 2 months , I realized she wasn’t the type of woman I need in my life to rebuild and I tried to broke it off as we were always arguing and fighting . I had my faults also due to my PTSD as an ex-convict. Also in September 2019, my elder brother was arrested in transit in another country and he is still in prison till now and I am the one carrying the burden to handle his legal matter and all. My mother was devastated as my brother was her favorite. It made my PTSD worse and I was feeling like I was suffocating in my relationship . So I had to break up and I discussed with her but she will cry and cause a scene each time. The relationship was off and on until we finally broke in May 2020 and we were not in contact again. Things started looking up for me financially after the break up, business booming , got myself a car and things were falling in place for me until suddenly my mother passed away in her sleep while abroad at my sister’s place on October 1 due to a heart disease which was as a result of all I and my brother went through. This news made me numb, I am lost and I want to just be alone. I felt like I killed her, I felt like I didn’t do enough and if I had stayed away from crime she would still be alive . I am blaming myself and looking for redemption . We buried her aboard on October 20 , I couldn’t pay my last respect because of COVID . We had to do her funeral over there. Struggling to leave. A week after the funeral my ex-gf reached out and asked to come see me . Which I agreed because it’s only a condolence visit. On her second visit which was November 7th , she brought up relationship issue that she thinks we should come back and all. I was like no, I do not want any commitment or relationship for now. I just buried my mother for crying out loud and told her how I was feeling mentally. She said she would stay over anyway and we had sex. She woke up in the morning talking about the relationship again and I explained to her that I am grieving and in pains. She said she understood , I realized she’s always chatting me up like we were dating so I decided to start avoiding her. She wanted to come twice but I refused. 12 days after we had sex she showed up drunk and said she’s pregnant and we need to plan a wedding as she can’t give birth to another child out of wedlock. I was shocked , angry and numb. I told her but I already let you know my mental state and why I do not want to be in a committed relationship. I am still processing the loss of my mother and I’ve not even accepted the reality and I just want to be alone. Since November 19 that she broke the news of the pregnancy, she’s been demanding we get married ASAP. According to her yesterday, she’s now a month pregnant and she has to move in with me immediately. I refused that I don’t want to be with anyone, I have accepted the baby, but I don’t want to marry, I don’t want a relationship . So it got to a point where she said... It’s either we get married before she gives birth or I take her to do abortion. I do not know what to do. But I know she’s not a woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I also know I want to be alone for now.
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