Jennifer Little

Thank you for reaching out. I am submitting (and have updated my CV) to several jobs now that some have reopened in this Covid world). Right now, it is hard with the holidays, being alone away from family and friend and knowing my ex is off running around with his new girlfriend. I am looking forward to going back to work Jan 7 just to get out of my head.

Sorry. My phone froze and wouldn’t let me type. I so appreciate your support. And I don’t think you are pushing any religious beliefs on me. I tried to find a divorce support group here (before my mom died) and they were all with churches and had paths through faith. I felt that it would be hypocritical for me to join those. I have done counseling in the past and have considering e-counseling. Right now, I am also watching finances really closely. Just sent more money to my divorce attorney and discovered through my (ex)husband’s paperwork that he is trying to hide around $50K and heaven knows what else. It is exhausting. I am trying to call my dad every other day and stay upbeat for him. But honestly, right now, I cry most days and hide either inside a book or watching the idiot box. I am looking forward to getting back to teaching in Jan. I teach theatre at a college here. Even though we can’t do live theatre, at least I am still in my favorite place. I am also dreadfully homesick. I am in the middle of the desert. I have spent my whole life near water. It soothes me. I find comfort in lakes and oceans. There is NOTHING here. I am going a little stir crazy with that. I continue to job hunt for next year to either go home or find a job closer to my dad. I worry he may not have much time and I will be too far away to spend much time with him. I just worry a lot. Please do keep responding. You are the only one who has and I so appreciate someone who has dealt with loss and is willing to listen. Thank you. Have a safe and happy holiday. Jen

Thanks for the kindness and outreach. I am considering a counselor. I am just not quite ready to reach out here. I am not a Christian per se and I currently living in a very religious town. I am uncomfortable with people imposing religious beliefs on me. So, I am taking some time to try and just breathe. Right now is just harder with Mom’s death and the holidays and the pandemic making it so I can’t even go out for a meal with anyone. I’m trying to do one day at a time. I am trying to get some exercise in (not as much as I should) and am trying to take one moment a day. Today I spent all day doing interrogatories for the divorce. Just exhausting. But I am grateful for the support of people like you. Thank you.

@kaycThank you for responding and for your words. I especially appreciated “I'd get up every morning, look in the mirror, and tell myself, "It won't be like this forever." I think I need to remind myself of that too. I already filed for divorce. I filed first as my husband was emotionally and verbally abusive, so once I got out - I fled with what I could get. That included three cats (out of five). I am grateful for my four footed family members every day. As for my mom, I don’t know if she knew I was there. I can hope she knew. She was in deep distress by the time they let us in. But I sang to her and told her stories. (I am in theatre and she loved to hear me sing.) As for my dad, I have sisters near him, but I can only pray it hasn’t spread out of the colon. I cannot handle another loss right now. I am trying to go for drives and whatnot but with the pandemic, I’m not going out as I usually would. I’m just trying to get through one day at a time. I know my husband is going to drag this divorce out as long as possible and I’m terrified he is going to bankrupt me in the process. I greatly appreciate you responding though. I feel very lonely these days. I have a friend who lost a parent in March, so she understands the loss of a parent. But I am starting to feel like the Debbie Downer of our world - I have nothing but bad news these days. So I try to keep more things to myself, as to not bum others out. And then I just feel more isolated. So again, I appreciate your response. Thank you for caring and responding. And I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I’m glad you had him in your life. Have a safe and sane holiday. Jen

This summer and fall has just been very difficult. I discovered in May of 2020 that my husband of 21 years was sleeping with someone else and by July, he was demanding I move out of our home, even though I was unemployed due to the pandemic. I got an interview across the country in a different state and was offered a job - while I was gone, he had his girlfriend in our home. I took the job, and within two weeks left my home, my friends and everything I knew and loved. I started a new job in the middle of the pandemic (no in person meetings or reasons to meet people in person). In Oct, my mother had a stroke. She was across the country in a nursing home. I tried to go see her but due to Covid, they wouldn’t let us in. I was called Nov 16, that she was within 72 hours of dying and we could come in. I flew across the country and she died after I spent 12 hours with her. No funeral (Covid) and I flew back to discover my petsitter had Covid. So, I’m back here. My soon to be ex-husband is trying to take me for everything and leave me destitute. My dad was diagnosed with colon cancer last week and Christmas is next week. I am hitting an emotional wall. I am running out of coping mechanisms. Does anyone have any strategies or ideas? I am so lonely and so sad. I miss my mom. I’m terrified for my dad. I’m devastated by my husband and furious with him (simultaneously) and there are days I can’t even leave my townhouse. I want to go home to some familiar things but I need this job. I just feel stuck. I would appreciate any help or ideas. This year has just been beyond ... and if I lose Dad, I just don’t know.