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joe57

Contributor
  • Content Count

    19
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About joe57

  • Rank
    Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    husband
  • Date of Death
    12/1/2020
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    northern Wisconsin

Recent Profile Visitors

191 profile views
  1. Joey, my story is similar to yours. There are two widower books I'd like to recommend, along with related websites for widowers. "Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship" by Fred Colby, and "The Widower's Journey: Helping Men Rebuild After Their Loss" by Herb Knoll. The other thing I am learning via this journey, reading, and attending a grief group, is to expect people to say things that aren't helpful, for whatever reason. Let it go, and grieve as you need to, there is no wrong way or right way, only your way. Find safe people, and learn to be a safe person
  2. kbend-My dad died in a plane crash just before I turned 7. He went out with a friend on a Sunday morning, and we expected him back in order to make it to church. He never came back. My mom had a hard time with this, with the garage business my dad and uncle had started, and then with two young boys at home. It was difficult even at that young age to see mom date someone other than dad, but she was only 27 when this happened. We wound up moving in with my grandparents on their farm. She didn't date much, but then met my step-dad at about 8 years out and married 10 years after my dad's death. My
  3. Thanks for posting this, Marty. I like having a list like this that I can use to see how I'm doing, maybe areas I need to work on, areas I may need to revisit. May it be helpful to others as they plod along on this path they'd rather not be on.
  4. I have this emptiness I feel, slightly above my belly button and off-center to the left. I'm thinking this will always be with me, and it will be a reminder of my precious queen whom I am learning to love differently and without in this physical world. Thank you for the picture with the message. Peace.
  5. nash and gwen-hard as it is, I thank you for sharing where you're at, what's going on in your lives. I appreciate you doing that. There are people that hear and care.
  6. Gwenivere-your sadness comes through this post. I feel for you. Hugs. "But as life becomes more finite and with less refills..." I like how you expressed this, thank you. God has our days numbered, that is true. But then, if we know Jesus as our Savior, we will be spending eternity with Him and loved ones, where, as the song says "When we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we'd first begun." Beth and I had talked about death after her dad passed, then she lost a close uncle, then a brother. I was close to them also, and
  7. You could have talked to her for 10 minutes and would have fallen in love with her! I received a sympathy card from a cousin and his wife today. Part of it read "She was such a joy to be around. Always so bubbly and great stories to tell." And they only met her a few times! (Of course, these words bring tears, but seems just about every remembrance does yet.) Very special, very awesome gal who chose to hang around me which is very humbling. But I'm sure we all feel that way about those we have loved and lost. That reminds me of something I heard/read: Better to have loved and lost than to hav
  8. Hi, kayc. I'm humbled that you would honor my precious queen that way. Thank you.
  9. I wrote that 4 a.m. this past Christmas morning, when I couldn't sleep. I woke up and it just kinda came to me. Glad you enjoyed it. I pray that it will help those who have experience/are experiencing this pain of losing your precious love.
  10. I hop in the car, and I go for a ride Nowhere to go, just wanting to hide From the pain that I feel (feels like death) So what am I doing? I’m looking for Beth. And wherever I go, there she ain’t Wherever I am, there is the pain My heart is broken, I can’t catch my breath The rest of my life I’ll be looking for Beth I know that here on this terrestrial ball When looking for Beth and I give a call No answer will come, it just cannot be I’m bound by time, she’s in eternity “Be joyful for me, I’m with our dear Lord
  11. kayc, I missed your reply on this and just saw it. My Queen is in the excellent place, no more doctors, hospitals, clinics, appointments, pharmacies, etc. But I miss my role as caregiver and I cry as I write this because that was a big part of who I am/was. Now it's just trying to figure out who I am but I don't really want that, I just want to be who I was, and it's really hard to let go of that but I know one day I will have to. Peace. Joe
  12. nashreed, I just reread your last reply on this. She was a brave, beautiful soul as you so well put it. Brought tears to my eyes, again, but thank you. She had over 35 hip surgeries over the years, along with other surgeries, and I was with her through them all, staying in the hospital when I could, and then helping her get around at home until she healed some. She was braver than I could ever possibly be, so I would like to be brave for her through this grieving/mourning/bereaving. It was very difficult for both of us that I could not be there as much for her in October and November beca
  13. From “Heartbroken” by Gary Roe Most of us who are grieving need reassurance. Perhaps you do too. While grieving you need to know that: You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re going to be ok Emotions will come. As they do, acknowledge and feel them. Don’t get in a hurry. Take your time. Be nice to yourself. Remember to breathe. Hugs.
  14. You are not alone. Keep coming back here. I joined about a week ago after losing my pretty little wife about a month ago. Just reading about other's pain helps with mine. Keep sharing. Peace.
  15. Tom, thank you for your words and encouragement. I find myself crying at the smallest remembrance of Beth. She was the half that completed me. All dreams of the future revolved around her so I find myself just drifting in a rudderless ship on the sea of life now. Joe
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