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GulfP

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About GulfP

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  1. Thanks for sharing this article Kayc, it's very helpful.
  2. Hey Sarah, As I said it's okay to worry about her. It's natural. You care about her and her well-being. Unfortunately, as she chose to do this alone, you will have to respect that and give her space. I believe what she needs right now, more than a distraction, is to sit down on her own and think of what's going on. Even if you were still there for her, I bet everything would be extremely overwhelming that she might just want to not do anything and cry, which is totally ok too! My ex and I both stayed in the house for a month before I convinced her to go out and pick up some food to
  3. It's okay! Everything that you are feeling right now is normal and expected. I felt it and actually still feel it too. Do what you believe is right, just try not to obsess on the idea of her coming back. I know it's hard and it hurts like crazy, but it's a process that will end at some point. I feel you. Loosing someone in this pandemic is especially hard. My ex watched her mother's funeral through Facetime 2000 miles away from her family, with no way of traveling due to the restrictions. It was just her and I, in lock down, watching a screen. It felt so surreal. The weird thing w
  4. Sounds like a plan. It's okay to worry about her and think of her often, just don't let it control your day. Get out there and do things you love and be confident that she's working on fixing herself. I also decided not to get back with my ex unless we both have worked on our issues (if the possibility existed), because if we didn't, we would break up all over again most probably. Hopefully after this cooling off period we can still remain friends, but it's up to her honestly. I'm close to hitting the 2 month mark and I'm feeling a million times better than I did a month ago, or even a co
  5. Even the toughest times brings us things to learn from. It's good that you have acknowledged that you have some issues that you have to work on. A break up will reveal a lot of things that we didn't know about ourselves, which will help us massively to become a better person and partner in the future. It's important, for example, to always love yourself more than anything else. You'll notice that you have everything that is needed to be a complete, happy, confident person. If you do decide to hold on to that hope, keep low expectations as you said and take care of yourself. If you'd want
  6. I understand what you're feeling completely. I'm not going to tell you to let go of any hope and simply move on. You are the only one that truly knows the relationship you had and I am in no position to tell you otherwise. What I can suggest though is that you focus on you and only yourself for now. Keep working on your goals, studies, work, whatever it is that drives you to be a better person. Don't just simply be enslaved by the hope. My ex also told me similar things and it's hard to let it go. However, after a solid month of (consciously or unconsciously) trying to get her back, I rea
  7. Hey Sarah, Unfortunately it's gonna be very hard to get closure from her. She sounds very confused and overwhelmed as you said but what matters is what happened, and that is that she broke up with you. Regardless of what was said before or after that, she made the decision to break it up and that's the clearest thing you'll get in this process. The rest will need to come from you, and getting closure on your own will be very hard. I myself still struggle to do that after 2 months, but I have done great progress and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I agree. She needs her own sp
  8. I'd say most probably you'll both start no contact eventually. My ex and I both agreed to stay as friends, but in order to do that we both have to let go of our feelings, and the best way is to stay no contact and regain some clarity. After the break up we still talked every now and then but I always felt it was forced on her part, so I naturally stopped texting her and she hasn't texted me back, and I'm fine with it honestly. It's only after being in no contact for a bit that I realized how much keeping her close was affecting me. Also, don't ever feel bad for trying to re-spark the rela
  9. If you strongly believe she may be a danger to herself, maybe try to contact one of her family members to check up on her. However, I can't help much since I'm not an expert. Definitely read Marty's article. What I can say though is that the first few weeks after the death of a loved one are extremely painful. My ex at least also stopped answering texts and disconnected herself from society because everyone and everything would remind her of her mother. She only spoke to her family and me (her and I lived together).
  10. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. My ex told me all these good things but at the same time was breaking up with me. It was obvious that by the end the relationship became pretty one-sided, and no matter how hard we try, our partner needs to put on some effort as well, which was not my case at least. According to my ex, she would wake up every morning wanting to do things with me, but at the same time had to work, study, help her dad, etc. and those latter ones were her priority. She told me she had this constant pressure that she was not contributing enough to the relationship a
  11. I'm so sorry Sarah. For what it's worth, she might be just as confused as you are. People going through grief are simply overwhelmed and a good share of them just throw off the towel as to release anything that might bring stress in the future. My ex also told me that she loved me but that I deserved better. Apparently some people want their grief to be very personal, and don't want to share it with anybody else either. Again, I believe this is not them making the decisions, but the grief itself. Oh and also, this is not your fault. This is a good opportunity to work on yourse
  12. Hi Nikka, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know it feels strange to share such a personal situation with a bunch of strangers, but it does help to let it out! My GF of 1 year / 4 months broke up with me 8 months after her mother's death. We also went through a lot of hard times together, but my ex was so close to her mother that her passing completely changed her, which it's not uncommon. Unfortunately grief is extremely powerful and consumes every bit of the griever, including their emotions (like love). Some people are unable to deal with it and have the pressure of having
  13. Hi Sarah, I'm so sorry that you've fallen into this situation. As Baxter says, it's a common grief response to push people away and deal with it alone. Unfortunately to those in a relationship, it's something that will affect the relationship one way or another. It's important that you don't take it personally though, because she's not the one making the decisions, but her grief itself. The only thing that you can do is to respect her wishes, as doing anything other than that will push her away even more by adding even more pressure. I'll be honest with you, the next few month
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