Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

SukiMumma

Contributor
  • Posts

    9
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    CA
  • Date of Death
    03/02/2021
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Hemel Hempstead

Recent Profile Visitors

119 profile views
  1. Well I finally got he results back from Suki’s pathology thing. My vet emailed it to me and highlighted the main points, but talked me through it as well. It seems my poor Suki had something called ARVC, an abnormal heart rhythm that is something she was likely to have been born with. It is not something that would have been picked up by an ultrasound, so in short her beautiful heart gave out. What I thought was her fitting when I looked back on the cat camera, the vet said she was likely to have already passed and this was just the muscles at the end. It was like Suki waited until I wasn’t in the room with her to leave me, as would have only been about ten minutes after I left her when it happened. They also picked up deterioration of her spine, but doubt that it would have been causing her pain yet. My darling princess left me so young, but she left before she would have been in any pain, so whilst my heart is broken that she has gone far far too soon, I know that she won’t be in any pain, and over the rainbow all the hurt and sickness is gone, so she’ll be bouncing around having fun. 😿
  2. I picked up Suki’s ashes yesterday. My sister drove me to the vets, they handed me the bag and I could barely hold back the tears, by the time I was back in the car the emotions just exploded from me, great hearty sobs, which I think had been building up inside me for some time. She is home now, we still don’t know what happened, I have to be patient for those results, the pain feels different, a different kind of emotion now.
  3. I got a card from my vets on Friday, saying how sorry they were about Suki passing, with some sunflower seeds to plant. My sister called them for me to see if there was any update on her post mortem, no more update as yet, the time is indeterminate as they have to wait for results and write up reports. They did tell my sister that Suki’s ashes were back and I could collect. I went this afternoon to collect her ashes, I’d not slept last night, bringing her home has been a big thing for me, part way to feeling some kind of closure. The vets were closed, there had been a positive covid test result today, so upon calling another branch in the vet group, they advised me the reason for the closure, I asked about Suki’s ashes and there were no notes on the system to say they had come back, and no idea could be given for when the vets will open. This broke me, not knowing where my darling Suki is, not knowing when she’ll be back with me, I got home and bawled my eyes out. My older cat Ziggy, who is only loving when he choses, has now curled beside me on the sofa to sleep. I have that horrible sick feeling and emptiness in my stomach again.
  4. Hi Danni F, I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling at your loss, Fisher was in your life such a long time and that if anything makes the loss even more hard to deal with. In 2017 my cat Daisy was out and she got hit by a car, her injuries were such that it was the humane thing to do was to put her to sleep. I was with her to say goodbye unlike with Suki, Daisy was 2.5 years old. I still look at pictures or think about her and cry, and it’s almost 4 years now. I got a tattoo for Daisy, my first, a Daisy flower with a paw print in the middle, in my mind she is part of me, I’m going to do the same for Suki. Everyone grieves differently, I’m not going to say it will get easier, I burst into tears over Suki this afternoon. I understand your grief and all I will do is send you love.
  5. I’m so sorry for your loss, it is very hard when people don’t understand, they’re part of our family. It will get easier, but allowing those moments to cry are the best thing, everyone grieves differently, so do what feels best for you. I have found this forum a great comfort as sharing and finding others who understand the great painful loss, has truly given me comfort. Stay strong 😻
  6. I’m doing better than I was, I’ve been back at work since Monday so that has been a good distraction, but also seems odd as she would jump up on my desk and fall asleep, or play with my pen, or just be a truly playful little girl, she was my shadow so that has made things a lot quieter. I do believe that having her back will bring me great peace, though I like to think her soul is somewhere safe with all the other animals that have passed, they’re all healthy and keeping each other safe and having fun. She was a beautiful girl, with a delicate temperament. My older cat Ziggy is still looking for her at nights.
  7. Still waiting, the initial examinations didn’t show up anything, so we’re waiting on test results that were sent off and could take 2-3 weeks to come back. I don’t know how I’ll feel if they say there was nothing wrong. I’m having her cremated and chose the urn on Monday, she’ll be back with us soon and that will help, as soon as I hear anything will let you know.
  8. Thank you KayC, you’re so right about the term pets, they’re members of our family. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of Fluffy, your experience is so much like mine. For me it’s the shock that is so hard, like a punch in the stomach, I still feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Alas my manager was far from comforting this morning, I said I simply needed a couple more days, still being in lockdown makes it harder as I’m in the house all the time, she made me feel guilty for still being upset and said she thought two days would be enough time to deal with things. Ziggy is staying close, he’s my mini panther. My beloved Suki
  9. On Wednesday (February 3rd), I lost my 3.5 year old Birman Suki. She’d been having odd wobbly moments, and was due to have an MRI on the 9th. Despite the wobbling she was pretty much herself, eating, going toilet, annoying my older cat Ziggy. On the third she was much more wobbly, I brought her up to my office so I could keep an eye on her, she was making some strange noises so brought her back down on my lunch break. She wet herself as I was bringing her down. I settled her on the sofa where she would sleep and cleaned her up. She was quiet, I stroked her and talked to her but I had to go back to work, so I left her laying on the sofa. I have a cat came so trained it on her to keep checking on her. About 20 mins after coming up I checked on her for the second time, she was on her back and it didn’t look right, she never slept on her back. I ran down to her, turned her towards me, she was limp and lifeless, my beautiful baby Suki was gone, I called my vets, I didn’t know what to do, I was in so much shock. They told me to bring her down straight away. Putting her in the carrier I knew she was gone, the softness and immobility of her. My vets are only 5mins drive away and they were waiting outside for me, they took the carrier and ran in, 10 minutes later they came out and confirmed there was no heartbeat and she was gone. They gently suggested a post mortem, to find out why she died so young, which I am having done, but because of covid, and no couriers available, I had to drive her there the following day. How I did that, knowing my baby was beside me in the car, I don’t know. I’m still waiting for the outcome. The indoor cat camera, it recorded the moments before her death, she was fitting, I can’t get that image out of my head, that and finding her on the sofa, I just want to wail, she followed me everywhere, she was so loving. My older cat knows something is wrong, he knows she’s not there. I just can’t believe she’s gone, and so suddenly, my manager at work, seemed to not understand why I took two days off as holiday after, I don’t even know how I’m going to work tomorrow, Suki would always be around my desk, the house is so much quieter, she was so vocal, I feel sick and I can’t stop crying, she was my baby, I have no children, my cats are my kids, finding my fur baby dead is killing me.
×
×
  • Create New...