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About HG88

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    my pet cat
  • Date of Death
    last day february 2021
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Location (city, state)
    jacksonville, florida

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  1. So sorry for your loss, Tinac. What kind of animal was Oscar? sounds like maybe a cat? if you have a pic of him and any good stories of his life with you i'm sure everyone here will be interested, i know i will. writing about it may help you process things and help you think clearly, so you are able to navigate through your feelings but not get hopelessly drowned by them. that's all we can do in my humble opinion, just try to understand the whole picture properly, factually, and get the real version of events squared away properly in our memoriesso there is no risk of remembering incorre
  2. that's what is callee the heart chakra in spiritual traditions. who knows what it really is in a scientific sense but there's something to that. you might find it "helps" to focus your inner feeling there relaxedly and think positive loving thoughts about your wife, maybe try to imagine you are still connected via your heart center. I don't know what your beliefe are but I almost feel like it is obligatory for us now to believe our loved ones still exist beyond their body. For the simple reason, imagine if you died instead and remained entirely yourself just without a body, and wer
  3. you are very welcome, i'm just glad my post wasn't misunderstood or taken as being insensitive, i was concerned. i know nothing really helps us, but sometimes it's good to get different perspectives on it all. i totally get how you feel though, i'm prety sad today myself. 😔
  4. note: sorry if i misgendered you, Frankie. no harm intended
  5. Frankie, I've been thinking about your post up there, where you walk in to the empty house etc. Imagine if you died before you met Coco? Just think of all that life time you had before you met Coco. Remember how long your childhood era seemed? All those days, maybe there were other people and pets, but not yet Coco. I assume something about you and Coco just worked and fit together right as friends, Made you like him and he like you. What did he like about you? Probably things you'd learned or picked up along the way, long before you met him, ways of being, living. So he like
  6. HG88

    Cat loss

    24 dogs and cats... wow. *slow clap* LouiseJade, I'm sorry for your loss. I know i would feel exactly like you do in your shoes so dont worry about that, when a loved one dies, we reflect back on the time leading up to it and wonder if somehow it could have been prevented. We wonder if it was somehow our fault. Sometimes people do literally cause their cat's death, but this does not seem to be the case for you. Some people will think if not post, this is what happens when you let your cat out... but i personally think they have better lives being indoor and outdoor, if circumstanfe
  7. If your CD collecting and listening is or has always been a pleasure for you, I'm sure your wife would still support you in that way and not have any bad feelings about how you spent money. I think money is possibly the last thing anyone cares about once they die, assuming the soul lives on elsewhere. Sometimes we have petty arguments in life over things that really don't matter and then we hang on to the bad feeling we got arguing and assume the other person permanently holds that particular view. But life is never like that, only in our heads. Real life and real people are always changing, h
  8. Sorry for your loss, Caleb. There are some very good caring and compassionate people on this forum whose posts you may find interesting and helpful to read. I'd encourage you to read different threads, even if their story is not quite like yours, we are all here due to the grief of losing someone we love so much. If you have time and feel comfortable with it, please share details about your dad and his passing. It's helpful for us to get a clear full picture of what you are going through. Edit: about panic attacks. I understand, I have had them caused by grief too, it's like the sh
  9. If it is not a genuine visitation dream (presuming such things are real) then just randomly dreaming of her (your mind creating the image of her) might not be very helpful for you at all. Sometimes dreams are like that and you cannot really interact with the person because they are not really there, it's all our mind's creation. But I certainly am open to the possibility that visitation dreams can be real so remain available. You are probably right rhat thinking of her during the day, you are processing the whole thing that way, when you then fall asleep your mind is sorting through irrelevant
  10. Sorry for your loss, Amela. Maybe your dad would not want you to cry and mourn his death but to feel happy for the life he lived and time you spent together. If it was you that died and he was fine, what would You want him to do? Mourn you 24/7 till he dies or continue with life being himself and doing what he likes to do? Would you be mad, if you saw your dad happy, laughing, enjoying something? What about if he leaned back stretching and said to someone, ahhh life is good? I bet Amela that you would instead be happy to see him happy, because you would know that his happines
  11. So here's an experience I had that may be of interest. Posted before but in the midst of a giant post so probably overlooked. My dad has always been an atheist, actively disbelieving. He's a scientist. I was raised basically like that as my mother is agnostic but indifferent to it all. He remarried and won custody of me so i lived with him and my step-mom and step-grandma and stepsister. They were all Catholics and grandma was most devout, praying Catholic mass every day. They always avoided discussing their differences but were well aware. Anyway, grandma passed away in
  12. this reminds me of Randy Newman's song "We Belong Together" from a Toy Story movie. I have been playing it lately because i really like the line "so dont forget, of the future should take you away, that youll always be a part of me!" the song is basically about a romantic relationship i guess but i apply it where suitable to my situation
  13. Sorry to being up an old thread but just wanted to say I find the above so relatable and interesting and have felt it for each death in the family. it freaks me out a bit because my memory will play trivks on me, like I know realistically i must have spent way more time with Althea than without her during her lifespan, but my memory will just show me endless seeming selfish days where I had no time for her, and feel such terrible guilt about that, and then I try to remember specific days with her and all I get is basically a vague one memory fits all sort of generalized memory of her. I also r
  14. Guest so very sad, it's a shame you only have a guest account (?) because I had just read through this thread and was going to send you a personal message because sometimes it feels a bit more real to know someone reached out for you privately. Anyway, just want you to know I feel for you, it must feel so wrong to lose both your children like that and then know that some day your mother too will be gone too. My grandma lived with us for over twenty years, and she was always grandma aged to me but now I see how she was much healthier early on than the last phase of life. She still got out of th
  15. and recently i wrote to my mother who lives in a different country and finally told her my whole story because she did not know most of it how it really was. basically told her about 12 years or substance abuse, mental illness etc. know what her reaction was? none! never responded at all. too much to handle for her, maybe, thats why i never told her. but i got my mental issues from her! her side of the family all have or had soemthing related and i got it absolute worse, like all of them combined doesnt even hold a candle ro how bad it has been for me. they maintained normal lives. they got ma
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