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Anhid

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About Anhid

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    NA
  • Date of Death
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  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Paris

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  1. I’m so sorry, this must have been really hard, for both of you. I have no idea how she dealt with the funerals, she didn’t talk about it at all and I didn’t want to talk about it either. But what I mean is... I used to be her « safe place ». I’m actually worried about her because she can’t do anything she likes to distract herself, I know all she can do is cry and stay in bed which is not healthy at all. She’s not the kind of person to recover quickly and since she has nothing left... I’m scared for her. She told me herself that she has lost everything : her family, herself, her ed
  2. Thank you for your message. It really helps me. She told me herself that she doesn’t know how many time she needs to heal but I’m confident she’s getting help. She’s always been reluctant to get help, so I don’t really know about that but I hope she’s okay. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one in this situation and I’m willing to wait for her if she still wants me in her life. I will probably feel better too, but it’s still hard for me to look forward to a future without her, especially because she didn’t give me any closure at all and I’m that kind of person who needs to know if
  3. I will leave her alone (I have no choice anyway, she turned her notifications off and I’m sure she doesn’t even look at her phone) but the message I sent is waiting for her and when she’s ready, we will be able to talk. I don’t know if I should be positive about the outcome or not. I’m not going to lie to myself, as long as we both have issues to work on, I don’t want a relationship with her again. That’s why I was talking about starting off as friend. The fact that she has chosen to work on herself alone doesn’t bother me at all; in fact, it’s actually the best choice she made. She knows s
  4. I agree with you, there’s too much guilt but it’s not something new. I tried to tell myself that she’s just using it as an excuse to break up with me but it doesn’t make any sense since she’s always been like this. She’s always felt like she was lacking in our relationship (something not true at all) and I think something must have triggered her and convinced her that it was her fault to make me wait for her like this. Oh ! And I forgot to say that she thinks the death of her grandmother was her fault because she’s been dreaming of losing someone close to her for 6 months straight. Well, I thi
  5. Hm yes sure, she did. But she also said she will get better for me. As I said, our relationship was pretty unique and it’s always hard to let go of a first love. I know it was her grief talking but I doubt she didn’t know her own mind as our conversation was rushed and she didn’t realize what she was doing at that time. That’s why I said, maybe in a few months, when she feels better and has a clearer mind, she will come back to me. Not as a potential lover, but just as a friend. She owes me an apology for what she has done to me anyway. Grief or not, it’s not an excuse. Also, she didn’t tell m
  6. Thank you so much for your message ! It's so hard to focus on myself, though. I'm not used to being considerate with myself, it's actually the opposite. I'm used to living through others and give myself entirely to the person I love, something I shouldn't do, but it's just how I am. So now I feel completely devastated and I don't know how I am going to move on. I know time is a great healer, but I also know this situation will give me some major traumas as a result... I'm not scared of waiting for her to heal, honestly, even if it means waiting for a few months. As long as we both wo
  7. Yes, I know how she is and it seemed like she was lost and overwhelmed by what happened, something I can understand completely. But I can't help but tell myself that she'll come back to me one day, when she feels better. I don't really understand why she would say things like "I'll get better for you" if it wasn't for her to come back ? I'm really confused. I think I am just going to wait for her to reply to my message. It's hard because I would like to know how she's doing, if she's getting help, if she's eating properly... I don't think she will ignore me or anything, but I'm sure she'
  8. Hi there, Sorry for the late reply ! She broke up with me on monday but our conversation felt rushed. She didn't make any sense, saying things like "I don't want to lose you" "I love you always" "I know you are my soulmate" or "I will get better for you soon" so she didn't give me closure at all especially because she couldn't stop saying that she "doesn't deserve me" or "I can't make you wait", or even "I never treated you right" and I still hope for her to come back to me. Also, she didn't say "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" or something close to that, she only said "I
  9. I would like to stop contacting her, I know it's better for us. But I forgot to say that she is really negative about herself, and she is depressed, she told me she didn't want to be here anymore. It's not only "grieving", she also losing herself in the process. I know she won't recover from this without seeking help, and I'm not sure she will do it. She told me she needed help, she told me she didn't know what to do, she is lost and powerless. She stopped eating, she stopped caring about herself, she's basically staying in bed to cry. I'm scared that she'll end up doing something silly... I'm
  10. Thank you. The thing is... There were a lot of things she said that didn't make sense, and I don't understand why. She said she loves me, that she wants to get better for me, she is also convinced we are soulmates and that we will find each other again. But on the other hand, she also said she feels likes she doesn't deserve me, she said she can't make me wait for her anymore because she knows it's one of my biggest fears. She's basically pushing away everyone she loves and she sounded really panicked and.. I don't want her to do anything silly, if you know what I mean. W
  11. Hi again, Thank you both for replying to me. Unfortunately she just broke up with me. I was expecting it, I was getting ready for it but I’m still... shocked. I feel numb from crying and I don’t have emotions left in me anymore. I don’t understand how everything happened. She told me she lost everything, her family, her education and herself and now me. But I told her it was her choice to break up with me. I don’t think I will ever understand her choice especially because she said she will always love me and she will never lose feelings for me. I don’t understand why she chose to g
  12. Hi there, My name is Sarah, I'm 22 years old and currently dating a wonderful girl. We are in a long distance relationship right now, she lives in the UK and I live in France (I apologize if there's any mistake, english is not my first language). We've been dating for 8 months (but in love for a years, more or less) and have a strong relationship. Let me explain the context of the situation. These past few months, my girlfriend has been having bad dreams, about death or losing someone close to her. I tried to reassure her whenever something like this happened but death
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