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Missmirr

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Everything posted by Missmirr

  1. Thank you so much for your support, @kayc. Your responses have given me an unbelievable amount of peace during this time.
  2. Thank you both for your responses. What I’m having so much trouble with is that I feel like I made it about me when he’s going through so much. I wanted answers for what we were and what our plans were. We had planned on moving in together this fall- so when that was obviously not going to happen because his dad will need his help now (meaning he will need to live with his dad now) I just immediately asked him for answers. But that was so selfish of me to be asking him questions about our relationship when he just found his mom unexpectedly dead. I can’t seem to forgive myself for focusing on us when it wasn’t the time to. And I also wonder if I had just not even brought up those questions if him and I would still be together.
  3. My boyfriend’s mom died about a month ago now. She died in her sleep, it was completely unexpected, and he was the one who found her. I was there the night it happened, and I stayed with him and his dad (his dad is 87) for two weeks after. I helped them with chores, meals, and emotional support when needed. After that my boyfriend asked for space which is when I had a really tough time. I’m already depressed and have anxiety, so the request of him to have space really rocked me. We have only seen each other once since. I went over to his apartment (he’s packing it up to move in with his dad) and we just cuddled, watched movies, and were intimate with one another and it felt so normal. It was like my life made sense again. But since then it’s always communication and seeing each other only on his terms. We had plans to see each other again for the second time this week. When the subject of sex came up, I told him I wasn’t comfortable because it’s hard for me to separate sex from wanting to be completely back together with him and planning a future. That’s when things really went south. He got angry and said “we will be together one day and you just need to trust me” and I said that I was so sorry it’s just so tough to be some sort of halfway lover for you. For me it’s either friends or I’m thinking about how much I want to marry him one day. And it’s so tough to put it anywhere in between. Anyways he cut off all communication now and said he didn’t want to see me anymore and it’s not even because of the sex. I’m heart broken and feel like my life was just ripped apart. I also feel so beyond guilty and like the worst person ever because I wasn’t mentally and emotionally capable of being what he needed to be while he was grieving. In my mind I’ve completely failed him because I was selfish and couldn’t put my brain on pause about his and my future, which is obviously not his focus right now. I was hoping to feel not so alone by coming here and sharing my story.
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