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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

DeeP

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Partner
  • Date of Death
    March 26,2021
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Na

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Babylon , NY

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  1. I do think that. The growth I have mentally endured by the loss I experienced shifted my perspective on a lot. & i reflected for months on my x that passed and how our relationship was, the things I wish I did differently, the pain and the love. All of it and picked myself up out of depression. I have been in therapy every week attempting to heal and learn myself more, attempt to feel that connection again and let that fear go. I don’t deserve any of the disrespect especially when I feel like I’m so much more mature and grown mentally than I was before he passed. It’s sad bc this man has the healthiest version of me at the moment and insists on making me feel small when I’m not meant to be. I don’t want a partner like that especially after dealing with such a heavy loss. I am still healing and as Iv mentioned battle in my head trying to move forward but it just sucks. Sorry I’m venting a lot 😕
  2. Thank you! Update guys… it’s been bad. He is a bit controlling and narcissistic in a bad way. Losing my partner unexpectedly made me cherish relationships more you know. I don’t want to fight and argue over silly things. He’s jealous and insecure and anything I do he doesn’t trust me. Iv cried so much because I opened my heart up after losing my ex which was hard. Iv told him I’m loyal to him, and with him only and he doesn’t believe it. I’m not perfect but Iv been trying my hardest but I also don’t enjoy being disrespected constantly. I’m just really sad… and hurt. I feared getting close to someone and this is why…
  3. Thank you for this! Yeah he is good. I don’t want to push him away but the more serious he starts to get with me the more anxiety I feel. I don’t know if it’s him or I would be this way with anyone due to just the emotional closeness. The last time I was close to someone he left this world and I guess I’m just scarred from it all. I’m trying to work through this because i won’t be able to fully be invested with someone as to having a life with them until I figure it out. It just sucks this mind battle I have inside. I know I want love but I also run when I find it due to that uncomfortable feeling. & the thought of having to move on from my partner who passed it feels wrong idk
  4. Hello. Iv wrote a few things on here before. I lost my x bf last year unexpectedly and it messed me up so much. I could not get close or feel emotional connection to anyone and anyone who tired I ran. I tried push forward as best I could but I could not handle anything serious because my heart was broken and became numb. Now I am seeing someone who never pressured me into anything and that made me more comfortable that now we are together. I battle a lot in my head feeling like I am betraying mt x who passed . I feel like a horrible at times. I am trying to adjust to a new relationship and it’s just been alot internally that my current partner has no idea I deal with. Any advice .. anyone else ever feel this way after trying to move on from a partner who passed? It really sucks.
  5. Yeah literally. It’s so true. It’s just so hard 🥺 and people tell me time time time … it just gets me angry. Grief has so many emotions and waves attached and it’s exhausting and draining in itself
  6. Wow .. thank you for sharing. Your perspective is beautiful and your right I know. I’m doing my best to shift my outlook in that direction. Right now I feel very very detached. Any man trying to get to know me feels uncomfortable, I compare everyone to him, it’s just hard to move on. I can be with someone but emotionally it just scares me. Which I think means I’m not ready idk. It’s still fresh. I don’t want to stay at rock bottom and entertain guys that mean nothing . I’m young and the dating world now is really bad. People just play around and it makes me miss Jody so much. He loved me more than anything. And I felt so safe with him. Now I feel open, scared, unprotected and lost. :/
  7. That’s exactly how I feel. I know I can never bring myself to do anything. But it just sucks because you know as long as you remain alive, the pain is still there. So it’s like everyday is a little torturous. I am fighting it’s just my heart hurts everyday. I feel so lonely and I truly want to feel companionship again, and it just sucks
  8. ❤️❤️❤️. I come to you guys because I’m at a fork in the road here… unfortunately you guys are the only ones who can understand the pain of losing their best friend. Partner. I struggle everyday. N the people around me have no idea how weak and depressed I feel yet how HARD I fight everyday. To remain alive, I deal… but I can’t lie and say I don’t wanna just be with him in heaven. I feel so internally alone, and that’s what kills me the most. I don’t do drugs like that, I take xanex .. and Iv thought about just taking a whole bunch and saying f it but I also can’t bring myself to do that. I just hate this. . My life literally is not the same.
  9. Wow. Your story is touching. I’m sorry . It is very sad how people turn to drugs at times. I knew he wanted to do better, he just didn’t know how to cope and facing it head on was painful for him. I knew he was a alcoholic, but I just never would have thought he was doing coke. He also had a heart issue too. Makes me so mad. He was better than that. He pressed his luck. And left me alone.it’s selfish of me to want him back, and it’s a little selfish of me to want to be with him knowing I’d be leaving my family behind to. But this pain , losing my best friend.. everyday is a struggle for me. About your grandson I’m sorry to hear that too. In today’s world, being my age.. I see how people are just falling victim to all these things. And it’s sad.
  10. So true!!!!! Nobody I talk to truly gets it. Only unfortunately others who have lost their partner. And Altho me and Him argued a lot doesn’t mean there wasn’t true love involved. People try to tell me it prob wasn’t going to work out and I want to punch them. It doesn’t matter. Death is a permanent thing. They still all have their x’s alive they can reach out to if they wanted. I can’t. I can’t even say hi ever again.He meant so much to me. He was a giant part of my heart and me. And to be talking all morning like normal and then just poof he’s gone. Tragic and traumatic. And yeah it’s really hard to have to go through this young. I absolutely feel like Our time was cut short and it’s unfair. I question how I can move forward. My heart and soul yearns for him it hurts.
  11. Aww thank you. Yeah we dated a year, but kept talking the whole next year, so overall 2 years. :(. I miss my best friend deeply
  12. Hello. I have been on this site before. Im 28. I just lost my x bf 3 months ago unexpectedly to an overdose. I had no idea he was even doing drugs. So not only did I have the initial shock but also so disappointed. Prior to his passing I distanced myself and started to talk to someone new who I felt at the time was more balanced for me. Me n my x argued alot so I started to pull away. But my x never gave up on me. He always wanted to be with me but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. We would argue a lot but there was a lot of love between us. So he was in the army and he only had a few days left in the state before he moved and we finally got back on good terms. I started to see him and hang out before he was about to leave altho I still was interested in someone else. But I didn’t want him to leave the state and us not be in good terms. I cared so much for Him. I actually started to contemplate maybe giving us another shot. Then boom, he leaves this earth and since than I have never felt so alone. The new guy I was talking to was a good distraction but now he ultimately would up leaving me in a very rude hurtful way. So I gave him a chance and lost the one person who ever loved me so much and held me so high in the process.. now I really alone and I just don’t want to do this anymore.. I’m tired. I’m hurt. I miss my x so much. I wish I gave us a chance again sooner .. im really messed uP mentally.
  13. That’s what kills me the most. It all kills me actually. But the fact that yeah we didn’t even get that much time. We had our ups and downs for a while and for us to literally just get back into a great space where it felt like the beginning again; for a week later him to be gone. He was going to have to move to Cali bc the army and we were going to do long distance which definitely was going to be rough. But I think we would have been ok. And if not, at least he’d still be here and he could have lived the rest of his life he was supposed to live. And I wouldn’t be bascially half dead. 😔
  14. Awww I’m glad I was able to help you and hopefully make you smile :). You said harshly blindsided and that is probably the best description of what happened to me. It’s the worst. You just never expect it. Literally within just a few hours my whole life changed. Thank you for allowing me to vent. It’s definitely not easy. I’m trying to find ways to grieve in healthy ways rather than remain negative. I’m fighting it internally. But thank you for being you. ❤️ Means more to me than you know.
  15. Gwen 😔 reading that I felt every word from you. It’s like I can feel your energy and the frustration. I am literally sending you my love and hugs. I wish I could give you a real one. I’m sorry to hear your going through this. I see you on my post and others post and you really are a beautiful person with a good heart. I don’t even know you but I can sense that just by things you say. I know am not the same but let me just tell you . Your beautiful. Courageous. And He’s with you always. Altho he cannot help you in these areas, and believe me I know it’s frustrating bc I also do a lot myself and don’t really have much help. My bf would always offer to help and soemtimes I’d still tell him no bc I “ got it always “. The independent woman in me now wishing he was still here to help bc I’m left to do a lot on my own. They don’t make men like they did him anymore. 😔 and especially at my age the way this world is.. it’s just sad. But anyways be proud of yourself. I’m proud of you. ❤️
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