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awsun

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About awsun

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Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    CA
  • Date of Death
    4/28/21
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Edina

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  1. Thank you. Oh wow what a beautiful picture! He definitely is a handsome boy. I haven't brought myself to even look at pictures yet of my Sunni. What is your baby's name? Yes I'm not sure if you live alone but I do and a silent empty house is torture. It's the worst feeling. I keep moving through my daily routine expecting him to be there and everytime I don't see him my stomach turns in knots. This is so awful and I agree it feels like my grief will be forever too. Just know that you are not alone in feeling that. 😿
  2. I talk to Sunni, too. I hold the blanket that he last lay on up to my face to see if I can still smell him but I can't. 😢 I used to like coming home from wherever I was at knowing that I would get to see my baby and I had something to look forward to. Now I try to do anything to leave my apartment as every time I go to the other room and expect to see him laying on the couch and I don't it makes me sick and my reality creeps in. You sound like a very loving dog owner and I'm sure that Shelby was lucky to have you.
  3. I hear exactly what you're saying. I think I love Sunni more than I loved anything in this world. I told him that almost every day. And I completely know the feeling of having a knot in your stomach. I felt that for the first week. I wasn't eating well and just had this constant sick to my stomach feeling. And the cloning idea....how interesting. I know it's hard to imagine having another perfect angel like we've had. Animals are so special and it's amazing how strong our connection and bond are that we have with them especially for that length of time. I can't imagine going through other maj
  4. I know how you feel. My Sunni was so perfect too...I got so lucky with him. And waking up without him next to me is like a punch in the gut. How long did you have Shelby for?
  5. Hi Antoinette, I am right there with you. I just posted my story about Sunni last week. I also had to make that awful choice of euthanasia. It happened within a matter of days where my baby declined as well so I know exactly how you feel about second-guessing yourself. I've been dealing with that remorse for a while. It all happened so fast. Sunni was on gabapentin as well but thankfully no horrible side effects like that. The day after I almost fainted and passed out in my friend's bathroom so I know how you feel about your stomach being sick. I keep thinking that I will just wake up and th
  6. I agree with you kayc. It is a process and it's going to take a lot of time to adjust to my new life without my Sunni. It's just not something I can just push through or "move forward" from immediately. It's so hard to leave my apartment and come home when I'm so used to calling out to him "Sunni Bunny!" or the myriad of other "pet names" (pardon the pun) that I would call him and know that he's not there. And getting up in the morning and not having him next to me is awful. It's those everyday things that I'm so used to doing on a daily basis that are staring me in the face right now and are
  7. Thank you all for the replies. It helps to know that there are caring people out there that are going thru the same thing that I am and understand my pain & sorrow. I'm not at the place yet where I can post pictures, maybe someday soon. I did put them away only because it was too painful for me to look at but like kayc I will probably be that person who has a shrine of Sunni up sooner rather than later. He was indeed my soul kitty and I told him every day that I would love him forever. I would actually love to get portrait like the one Tinac drew for her baby and hang that up. Also don't l
  8. Tinac, Oscar is gorgeous! And that picture is amazing. Your story sounds so similar to mine. I just posted my story about my Sunni that I just lost last week. I adopted him at about 8 weeks & had him for almost 19 years. I am 41 and have had him since I was 22 so I know exactly how you feel. And my Sunni used to lay in my lap in the same way that Oscar did! I loved it. It sounds like we have very similar feelings about what we're both going through. The pain is intense and I'm not sure how I'm going to go through the rest of my life without him by my side. I feel lost. And I 100% agre
  9. I just lost my beautiful Sunni (cat) of almost 19 years...he would've been 19 in July. We'd been together since he was 8 weeks old. He was my world, my everything, the reason I got up every morning, the only thing in this world that seemed to make me happy. I don't have kids or a husband. He was my child. He meant everything to me. My heart and soul are shattered. Every day I wake up now to an empty apartment and it is the first time I've ever lived alone in my life without him and no one seems to understand that. No one seems to get how this has affected me and shattered me to my core -or u
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