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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Tootsie.Taffy

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  • Posts

    2
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Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Colorado Springs

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Granddaughter, CA
  • Date of Death
    2017,2009
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. Oh, your pain is palpable and my heart breaks for you! One of the worst things can be the not knowing or the guilt for not being there. At six, the choice would not have been yours to make. Have you looked online to see whether you can find what babies experience? My understanding is that little ones know something is wrong, but are also given pain killers or baby massage to make the transition as peaceful as possible. While you may never know whether anyone was with your sister, more than likely she was cared for. I agree with Kay, perhaps processing through with someone will help you remember something that helps you feel better about her situation in those final days. You have my thoughts and ((hugs)).
  2. I am not sure that you are "crazy" in any way, shape or form! There was a book that I read for a death, dying and grief class... putting the link below. This momma had me balling my eyes out. Although I have not lost a child, the reaction was visceral. Closer to the end of the book, there is a part where her two daughters had found the box of Hannah's things that Mom could not part with. She felt the exact same way you describe it, of she got rid of everything, it was like erasing her child. What would Hannah think of that? The girls put on Hannah's shoes, put band-aids from the box all over themselves, and started dancing all over the place. The Mom found herself at a crossroads- does she yell for disrespecting Hannah's belongings, or live in the moment? She laughs and starts to dance with her daughters, knowing that is what Hannah would have wanted. The Mom states it was then that she knew things would be "ok." (Notice there is no fantastic, just ok.) I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. Maybe you ask Aletha what she thinks about it? Either way, ((hugs)) Hannah's Gift: Lessons from a Life Fully Lived: Housden, Maria: 9780553381221: Amazon.com: Books
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