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evoking thoughts

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  1. I write this after a few months of extreme lows and daunting days filled with endless gray clouds. She never had health concerns and after a short 2 weeks in the hospital she passed away alone in the hospital ( didn't have covid-19) yet she was not allowed any visitors nor did she have those she cared for deeply there for her at the end. Told by hospital staff we could go up to see her after her death, she was scheduled to have emergency heart surgery in a few days. This loss was sudden and occurred near my birthday, 8 days after. I struggled and called her while she was in the hospital, her voice was not strong and full of force this time, she sounded so weak and fragile but I had hope for when we could see her again ( nurse told me when she would be transferred we would be able to visit) this never happened. She raised me and cared for me when my own mother had other priorities and my father was off and on. The woman who never made me feel less than, she cared, she loved without borders. Grandma raised me with praise and encouragement never abuse or neglect. I love her every day and just wish she would have known who I am fully before she passed.
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