My Honey passed away a year and 3 months ago. We were married for 43 years. I feel like I'm adrift with no anchor. His special hospital bed is still next to my bed. He passed away in that bed. I know now that I have to get that bed out of the house. He was my rock. We both were retired.
He had Parkinsons since 2008. The disease slowly took him away and in 2017 he was not able to care for himself. I had a caregiver two or three days a week for 4 hours to help me with showers and allowing me to go grocery shopping. My Honey eventually even lost his ability to speak. That was the most devastating thing for me. Caring for him was easy compared to not knowing what he was feeling or what he wanted.
He was such a good husband. He brought me coffee every morning before he would leave for work. He cooked, did laundry and even folded and put away the clothes. He gave me the most wonderful hugs and always supported me in everything. I feel like I'm just existing and I have no joy in my life.
