Kayc., you said everything I needed to hear. The thought of not talking to my mom or being able to hold her for THE REST OF MY LIFE tears my heart apart. I cry at the very thought of it. It hasnt been quite a month yet. I was going to her grave every other day. My dad said maybe i was going too much and needed time to heal. But, I was with my mom EVERY SINGLE DAY. We spoke throughout the day. I visited her daily after work. My heart is truly broken. People say it will get better but I dont see how. I dont know who I am without her. I love her so much, but Im mad at her for leaving me. I know this sounds silly but as close as we were, I would think she would find a way to let meknow shes ok. Maybe we werent as close as I thought.........