PJ's Mom

Hello to all of you that have responded.... Again, I must tell you how sorry that I am for the lost and pain that you are and have been experincing. To have so many losses at once, is unbearable. The love and courage that you all have, to be able to share your pain and losses with me is remarkable and I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me. I am afraid that I cannot, nor really want to post right now. I am afraid that I am being very selfish and I ask you to forgive me. I don't have that kind of compassion in my heart right now. I think I came here too soon. To share these feelings of mine, these painful, such intimate feelings hurts so badly that I don't know what to do with them. I don't even know if I can go to this Pet Support Group tomorrow. I miss my babydog so much, I can't stand it! I just want her to be happy and to let me know that she is alright. I hope and pray in due time she will. I want to thank you all for taking the time to comfort me, even thru your great pain. Perhaps I may be able to come back at a later date. Please feel free to email me directly. I wish you all comfort, love and some inner peace. You all are such very special people... From the bottom of my heart and soul...and with many gentle hugs... Pamela.... Be happy my sweet babygirl PJ, be happy! I love and miss you sooooo!

Hello... To all of you that have responded, I can't thank you enough for taking this time to help me. I am so very sorry for all of your losses, for the pain that you have had and are still dealing with. How you take the time to help me is awesome! How you can give so much with the pain that you are dealing with and have dealt with is incredible! I am in awe of your heartfelt, kind and loving responses. They have brought me some comfort and for that, I can never thank you enough! Forgive me for not responding individually, I know I am being rude, but my energy level is so low right now. I didn't have my " email notifications", set correctly, I am new this to impressive format. So please forgive me for not responding right away. I was curious this morning, and low and behold, I saw my mistake. Dear Group Counsler, I thank you for your links, I shall look into them for sure! And to everyone else's suggestions, I will too, take notice and try! I think I am depressed. If it wasn't for my fiance, Mark, I call him Markie, I wouldn't be getting out of bed. I go from being sad, angry, crying all of the time, to escaping in food, TV and 'whathavenot'. He has been my rock. When he goes back to work on the 15th, that will truly be a test of my 'character strength.' Markie took me to Barnes and Noble yesterday for a bit. I ordered 3 books: "The Soul of Your Pet: Evidence for the Survial of Animals After Death", "Animals and the Afterlife: True Stories of Our Best Friends Journey Beyond Death" and "Rainbow and Bridges" The Animal Companion Memorial Kit"... I believe and hope that they may be of some help. I know I shall come back here and re-read your wonderful posts to me again and again. I want to also thank you for your lovely compliments regarding my PJ. Please feel free to send me pics of your babies...I would love to see them! Oh my PJ...I Love You Soooooo! I miss you more than words can describe. Do you hear me, feel me, smell me? Do you know how much I ache to rub your belly, massage your little head, take you for a walk, give you a treat, sing to you and so much more? Oh Sweet PJ, be happy, pig out on steak bones, run like crazy, bark, jump, and play with all of the other animals...You gave me sooo much love, more than I have ever had in my entire life. I sleep with your pink sweater...I miss you next to me at night time. Even Markie misses you soooooo. Oh babygirl what am I going to do? It's horrible coming home and not seeing you looking out the front window, not having you greet me, or us at the door with your barks, and running around in circles, because you were so happy to see me and Daddy. Oh PJ, do you know how special you are? Thank you for loving me ...for giving me so much joy. Oh please G-d help me with this pain.... Your loving Mom... Again ladies, thank you from the very bottom of my heart and soul for being who you are, for your loving, kind and gentle words... And allowing me to just 'be'... Take care... Pamela, PJ's Mom.... [attachmentid=93]

Hello to all... My name is Pamela and I was so blessed to have the most beautiful dog, a Maltese, named PJ, which stands for Pamela's Joy for 16.5 yrs. PJ was my everything. I have withstood the loss of both of my parents and have had miscarriages without ever having children, and I feel so weak. I feel as though I should be strong right now. Why am I having such a horrid time bearing this? I have been through so much in my life. I am only 50 and I got PJ as a gift after my hysterectomy. PJ, ran right up to me at the breeders. She was like a magnet. I had the best gift in the entire world. My fiance and I had to put her to sleep on the 15th. She was so ill. I couldn't see her suffer anylonger. I have so much to say, but don't know where to begin. I am able to go to a Pet Support Group on the 8th of Jan. This pain is so raw. I pray to G-d that PJ is alright. That she is pain free, happy and enjoying heaven. I pray that PJ will come to me in my dreams and tell me that she is alright. Then I feel that I can go on. I am so sorry to dump on you all like this. I am at a loss. I can't thank you enough for your time. I look back at these wondrous years with her and I feel as though I took her for granted at times. I am so sorry I had to put you to sleep my babydog. Markie and I were with you till you left, till the very end. Sometimes I think you are with me still. I am so selfish...I don't want you gone. I am so sorry for all of the times I yelled at you for barking or peeing on the carpet, or swatting you on the nose with my finger. I am so sorry for the horrid pain you had to go through at the end. Oh PJ, you gave me so much love...so much Joy! I can't thank you enough, nor can I thank G-d enough. PJ, I need to know you are alright. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am so grateful for the darling pictures I have of you. I keep your favorite pink sweater with me at all times. I can still smell you my love. Today I threw away your medicine and dog food bowl, full of your dry dog food. I am not sleeping well, cannot stop crying and I am afraid to be alone. It's so silly. I want your spirit near me. Why can't I feel you now? What am I going to do? I am sorry, I am not making any sense right now. I am babbling so. Please forgive me. And I thank you all for allowing me to vent. Happy New Year to all of you. I feel like a hypocrite typing that...Again, please forgive me. My best and take care all.... Pamela... I know we will be together again. We must! [attachmentid=90]