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karl0774

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    ex boyfriend
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    karl bech

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Ringsted

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  1. thanks you again kayc! i just realized today that when i think about her now, i dont have any feelings, i feel so good about it. i really just made alot of good dession lately. i feeel like its an closed chapter and i have growed alot as a person because of it and i have never been more happy then im right now.
  2. thanks you kayc! i think this is for the best anyway, im sure i will meet someone deffirent and better. In the meantime i juts going to enjoy life. i feel like i have done everthing i could do, and if that was not enorgh so be it. the last 2 nights has been pretty bad, with almost zero sleep and i started dreaming about her, hope this goes away soon hahaha. i just keep wondering, why she went puplic with this new relationship so soon, me and her did after 4-5 month and there is just siad "in a relationship". she put that she is in a relasinhip with this guy by name, and why did she delete me on facebook? this was the social platform she asked if we still could stay friend back when we broke up. and why only me? she still friends with her other exes, but with me she cant. this really bugs me
  3. hello, i wanted to give an update so for the last couple of weeks i have been having so much fun at this new foke school, met so many new friends! i really just stop thinking about her, i have done no contact for the last 3 month, this really helped alot. i think about her maybe 1-2 minutes a day. i never thought i would get to this state, but i did. then to day i checked her facebook ( i havent done this the last 3 month, but i was curious.. ) and there she has deleted me and i could see was in a relationship with this guy she dated back in december. that hurt quiet a bit and i know it will take abit of time to heal. i just hope she is happy
  4. KayC THANK YOU so much for for being stright with me! i have done alot of thinking, and feel really good about everything. i have download tinder and texing with a few and wow that was just what i needed, to move on. i have started mildfulness, this helped me big time to get rid of images of her dating. i am kinda glad now she started dating, this pushed me to let go and truly accept it. i got my power back!! my process and more. really just focusing on me and my need. i think about her even less now im dating again. somehow i turned this in to a good thing, that feels so empowering.
  5. that abit harsh, but it true, she broke up and have every right to do how she pleases. the only thing i can do is decents myself from her and somehow get her out of my head, so i cant heal and get over her. am i a bad person for hoping she kinda get her heartbroken by him? idk why am so sour about it. it's so hard not to dig deep into it. ii really hope next time i get heartbroken it hurts less, and i remember to go 1000% nc from the beginning. it's been 2 month and i feel like all my procress is gone, like im starting from day 1 all over again. i really need to stop hating her, it really bad for my mental health i also have not been the best with my storys on intragram, been sharing me partying alot after we broke up, maybe she got hurt by it. i really dont feel like dating at all, im abit scared of getting rejecet, plus i would with proberly compare whom im dating with my ex. because thats truly all i can think about, that my brain base at the moment, evertime i not 100% concentrated about something im thinking of her, i hate im so freking obssessed about her, it is freakin me out abit.
  6. this somehow really f*cked me up, i cant even sleep now, first time it happend after we broke up, this is really bugging me. i keep seing her with this new guy. im just damn hurt, it really sucks big time. i dont know how to just focus on myself knowing she is sheing someone else, the chest pain has returned i cant distrat myself from it, i keep think they must have been knowing hiother for a while after the can be dating. i just cant get my mind of it. but i 100% NC now, i only have her fb now, so there should be no more ways to be hurt, other then the thing i already know
  7. i still dont get it, but i kinda already forgave her, its been 3 hours since my last post i went for a loong walk. talked to some friends, and read on this forum. i ask myself " how i can be happy for her". she is just doing what she need to do to cope with it all, and she proberly need some attention of someone else or a rebond of some sort, this is about her and her greif, i keep telling myself. i should not take i personly. i still feel jaloux and abit hurt, but i know this felling will pass, just wish i did not think aobut her all day but i still very much care for her and love her i think. but this helped me to getting over the hope for a relaionship with her in the future, we might be friends in a year but nothing more. i still greive her and somehow she is over me and i dont want to be with something who just like thats is back on tinder, not even working on herself . but i would proberly feel all this feeling even if it was a "normal" breakup. i just hate she is dating and im not because im not ready at all.
  8. woooow so today i saw on her instragram story that she i datting someone new, i looked at tinder, and is there is was with new pictures an everthing. it just so damn much. how can she Freaking date????? we broke op 2 month ago 8 days after her dad died. i cont understand, how can she be over our relationship so quick? she told she could not be in any relationship for a long time, i gaues 2 month was enogh wow, i fell all the pain coming back. i just unfolloed her, because it just hurt to much. i still think about her 60% of my day how can she date again. i just wish i could forgot her. i feel like i meant notthing to her.
  9. im so sorry your daughter had to go though all that, i really hope she can find menning on all that, she has been alot it sounds like. my problem sounds small compaired to that and many other storys ind here. mine is really when i look at it from the outside, a 22 year old with alot of years of joy and relationships ahead of me. this was a 4 month thing wich died due to greif. wow that helped to take a step back. i am really surpriced about how much this is inpackting my life consittered that it was only 4 month we were together, i still fell chestpain some days, i think of her 80% of the day, and kinda still battleing every day and it have been over 2 month since we broke up already. i just cant get over it completely, the last couple of days i have felt so guilty, keep telling myself, i should have not agreed to breakup so easyly the day we broke up. i didnt fight her on it, because i knew at the time that was what she wanted and needed. but i cant forgive myself for not being more strong the day we broke up ( it was 8 days after the death ) i wish i had told her, that we should wait 1-2 month before making the dession, that i would go NC so there would be no presure and let at greive and then we could talk in 1 month or 2 about were we stand. but at the time i just wanted some answers it was just hard so being in the dark. i keep telling myself it would be different if had just waited.
  10. so true, i learned today to stay the the no contact... update 2 month after the BU. yester day she removed the last picture of me from the instagram and it hit like a bus, one big rejection, like all hope just vannished. she then texted me that she placed a bag with the remaining of my stuff at my place. it hurt alot, i ended up texing her thank you and then just had to let her know, that i cared alot about her and i was here if she did need it. i thanked her for everthing and told her i felt i taking her abit for granted. that i understand she want nothing to do with me, and i understood that. to wich she responed with "thank you and a heart". i also told her that im sorry i cant be to more suppport, that might just be to many emotion involed for that to work after a BU. she reposned with " there is nothing to do about it now". now its back to nc so i can fully move on. she is just so damn ice cold towards me, i dont get it? i am just waiting for the 16 of janury next year, i will go on a 5 month foke school adventure, basicly 5 month of pure joy, having classes like outdoor life, beer brewing and music clases living with 120 other young people just enjoying life and pratice personal development. i also found out from this greive exspirmens what i want to study next year, that has helped alot on my positivity. but really starting to feel abit winter depressed, there is almost no sunshine its just grey the wheter witch is not helping on my mood doing this tought time. i just hate that, this girl was my dream girl, like our connection was amazing, she wanted the same things in life as i did. she a big horse girl, i loved that about her, loved going horseback riding with her, seeing her so damn happy while riding, wow i cant get rid of the image of her. she introdused me to horses, never like them before, but now i cant get rid of this dream of me and her having a small farm togetner enjoying life. i just wish i could flly go of her, but is so difficult.
  11. Hey! first of all, this forum has helped me alot to go through this, thanks. so my story starts, back in may, where i meet my now ex girlfriend ( she is 20, and im 22). we started dating and became a couple quickly and everthing was great, we have something special, we was exstremly alike, our personality, much the same, which make our relationship very intens, this was my first relationship aswel, she have had 2 boyfriends before me, so abit more exsperiens then me. we had ofcause had our problems, but never yelled or anything like. we loved each other ALOT. then on the 04/10/21, roughly 6 weeks ago, her stepdad died in work acident out of the blue. they night before we texted abought a problem we needed to talk about, then this happend. she was in so much greif, i sent a text once a day, just letting her know i was here and so on, she would responds, be cold and destent. then about 8 days after we texted for abit, i texted i love her so much, to wich she responded, we need to talk. at this point i was on ths forum reeding every single post in here, so i knew what she wanted, and it just broke me, wow it hurt. so 10 days after her dad stepdad died, i came to her place, at this point, i had alredy been super heart broken for a couple of days. i then come to her place ( she is living alone with her mother om a farm now after he died ). when we meet, we hugged for 30 min, kissed, i cried alot, she wanted to, but was out of teers, she was like a zombie no emotions left, was insane to see. we talked for 2 hours, breaking up, she told me, that this was not fair to me, that i shouden have to wait for her and i should find a new girlfriend and so on. i accepted, because i knew there was no way i could chance her mind, we talked alot about, that we should meet in 1 or 2 years time and so on.. we ended up cuddeling, making some food, and wacthing a movie together and she asked me to spend the night after we have broken up, so mixed feelings.. she also asked if we still could watch movies together still after the break up. i i told her that it would be hard for me to stay friend like that and i proberly would have to unfollow her on social media. the next morning i gave her, her stuff back and she gave me mine, very clean brake up. and we kissed goodbye a day after that, i texted her i chaged my mind, and still would like to be there for her but as friend and so on, to witch she responed" really would like that". then 10 days goes by and the funeral came up, i was there, gave her a hug and her mom, then just stayed in the backgrund, she did not looks that happy to see me. later that night she texted me that, "it was kinda nice i was there, thank you", i responed with " i toguht it was very elegent funaral and a touching speech she gave" to with she sent a heart. a couple a days goes by i sent her" there is nothing better i would then to watch a movie with her" hoping she would want my support.. she then repsoned with, ice cold " we are not going to do that". to witch i did not repond, and have been no contact with her ever since, about 4 weeks now, she has change her fb status to single, and deleted a picture of my on instagram, but for some reason kept one. this have been one hell of a roller coaster, i was so heart broken the first 4 weeks, my chest hurt and was thing about her 90% of the time. now after no contact and accepting everthing, i have been better, i workout every day and train for half marathon, just to better my self, i been reeding alot of selfhelp books, and just really focusing on myself, metal, psysis, and thinking over the things ihad done wrong the relationship, so can be better for my next. i still have hope with this girl, she is truly my dream girl, but this is just not our time. i was thinking of leaving a card with a flower, after christmas just wishing her the best, and that i hope for the best for her, that she may find her dream guy and so, but not sure if that a good idea, i would do in 6 weeks, so i might change my mind, who know. i still love her, but i really need to go no contact for my own seak. for me what really helped, was truly letting my thoughts and emotions go this my head, acceping there are there, letting my self feel sad, when i am sad, then when i think of her, just accept i have thoguht about her, but does not fokus on them. i like to think of emitons like, the sky, they come and go all the time, everting is dynamic, feelings change, life does on, so importing to keep reminding youself. and to think of this as the best opetinty to get to know yourself better. this is the biggist pain i have felt in my life.. and are some how greatful for it, because i know i will come out even stronger. - karl, sorry for bad english, not exactly my first language haha
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