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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

coastiemike

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Best friend and dad
  • Date of Death
    12/19/2021
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
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Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Hiram, GA
  • Interests
    Backpacking, camping, hunting, football

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  1. I’m 51 now, soon to be 52. My family members and significant others have always had pets they cared about. To me, they were always just an addition. I hope that makes sense. Everything changed three years ago. We adopted a bonded pair of 9 month old cats from the humane society. They were Annie and Lily. I brought them home, let them out of their carriers, and Annie immediately bonded to me and I to her. It was the first time in my 48 years I ever found a pet I loved heart and soul. Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. Here is my post on Facebook when I got home yesterday evening: Over night, Annie took a turn for the worse with her kidney starting to fail. We came to be with her this morning and spent an hour petting her, loving her, making her have as much comfort as possible. She tried to wag her tail but couldn’t move it much. She tried to pick her head up to let us know she realized we were there. She was finally able to lie on her stomach and move her head back and forth a few times, acknowledging Sarah, then Janet, then I. She tried to crawl into my lap and onto my chest but didn’t have the strength. I picked her up and cradled her in her favorite position and gave her a final kiss. There was no way I was going to make her feel she was abandoned. I hugged her while they put her down and was with her to the very end. My heart and soul are crushed this morning and I can do nothing but cry. But she is no longer suffering. Goodbye sweet girl. I love you like I have no other pet before. Sleep well. I miss the hell out of you already. ———- And here I am, a grown man (avid backpacker, hunter, former military and former crimes against children and homicide police detective) crying on and off every few hours for the past 36 hours. This time last week she seemed perfectly healthy. And Thursday night I noticed she seemed off. I took her to the vet first thing Friday. They admitted her to the hospital immediately. On Sunday morning I had to let her go while holding her. I’m complete crushed. Annie is the first thing in my life that brought pure joy to me anytime she sat with me. She laid next to me every night when I went to sleep of her own free will. She followed me around the house, ever curious what I was doing and not really caring what my explanation was. And now I sit here and can think of nothing else but how damn much I miss her and how damn much it hurts. What the hell do I do now?
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