Margm

Kevin, is this what happens every year? You have massive snow (water) and then you have massive fires? We have massive flooding. I guess strange things happen wherever you live. I did love those water coolers in Albuquerque, and probably around Karen's home. But, the takeaway was it took water and water was not in high supply. They were so comfortable to sleep in at night, and I think Albuquerque is about 5,000 feet. Maybe more. I remember the doctors having people with heart trouble moving to lower levels. And, I'm on here trying to kill time to face the day and people with their petty gripes and fusses. Mama cannot choose sides anymore. So both get angry at Mama. Good. Means I don't have to talk to them.

As you know, my diet is high in carbs. I can have meat protein. The only vegetables I can have are potatoes, green beans, cooked carrots, cooked/pickled beets, and all the sweets I want as long as there are no nuts or seeds. I go to the doc every four months for lab work check and mostly blood sugar check. He realizes I cannot eat healthy. My mainstay is eggbeaters and instant grits. No corn whatsoever but can have grits and I have learned to make a "grits bread" from that. I fixed a potatoes, green beans, carrots and mushroom soup, HB meat, and beef broth soup last week that was actually good. I cut down on the size of it and had it two days. I hate to cook, and the frozen dinners all have seeds of some sort in them or corn. One day I just drank three Glucerna's. Probably the healthiest I have eaten. If I eat wrong, I suffer terribly. It is TMI to tell you how, but I do place a cross in my bathroom and say, "Please God, I promise not to eat that again." I have 13 crosses in my bathroom and have not had to add others in a long while. Propranolol helps my essential tremor, but my stay in the bathroom was four hours. I also had to cut out caffeine. Addict that I am, I miss that "lift" but cannot handle the shakes. My old reliable meds do not hurt me. Anything new heads to my gut and a prolonged stay in the essential room. Having a lot of (my kids) sibling rivalry and trouble right now. I do have to take care of my sister constantly, and my granddaughter is still here. Too much wear and tear on this nearly 82-year-old woman. I cannot run away from it. When I was fighting cancer in 1982, I had a lot of family troubles with my dad with cancer too. He was a mean cancer victim (like my sister) though and will have been gone 40 years day after tomorrow. Family troubles seem to be the norm with me, and I wrote that little ditty back then: "I'm not that important, life does go on, if I wasn't here then I'd be gone." Written out of pure exhaustion. I'm there again. And I'm still here. Gotta take my sister for surgery in south "big city" where all the traffic is. She will be impossible to handle, of course. But I am all she has, and we are our brother's keepers. As far as the LGBT (QRS) and whatever letters they add, you just live and let live and thank God it was not something you ever wanted to be. ADDENDUM: Kay, listen to Karen!!!!!

Marty, I hope I don't get thrown off. Sorry folks, my vocational aspirations were just above the floor. Spent 43 years in medical transcription, and loved it.

I have a sister who is bi. She told me it was wonderful and the whole world was open. That was many years ago. Then, my daughter has gay vibes, sometimes I'm positive, sometimes I'm even more positive. My friend has a gay grandson, and she said you hate the sin but love the sinner. I'm not on that level. I accept it. My nephew, Billy's sister's son is gay. I know it is a surprise to the older generation, like me. But, damn I do accept it. I never knew there was a choice, in fact, I'm afraid I would have liked to dance in the cages above the floor with white high boots and pasties. That was when we had the Whisk-A-Go-Go's. I had the figure to do it then, but I'd make more money at it now. Couldn't do that with a deacon father. So, actually nothing surprises me and I totally accept it.

I saw it on TV. That was how I wanted to see it.

All the bayous, creeks, rivers are overflowing. Wish we had an underground pipeline to send water to states that need it.

Billy and I never missed "Heartland." It is clean, interesting, and may show some of the United States, but think most all of the actors and the scenery is in Canada. It is beautiful. Try soft macaroni-and-cheese Karen. Marshmallow sweets too. I don't think any on the "keto" diet, but to live, I cannot eat anything on the keto diet. That colon rupture makes carbs mostly all I can eat. I sure miss my salads, celery, and those raw vegetable dips.

Have faith Karen. Your gums are getting tougher. Billy's Uncle Chan could eat cracked ice with his gums and corn on the cob. That oral surgeon (because I didn't want to shell out $9,000 for screw in's) told me to just leave my teeth out then. You will get a fit. Billy never had a moment's trouble with his, but we did start on a 900-mile one way vacation, and he had left his teeth at home. We had just got on interstate when he thought about them. We turned around. I could have not adapted to the screw-ins because I can only take antibiotics IM. Too much infection happens. You're in pain for a long time too, and then to hold them in they put denture coverings. No guarantee's either. For $9,000 I expected to at least get free oil checks.

It is my son's son. We helped with his care until he was 5-6 and he lived with us when he was 16. His dad lived with us too. His first, and only year, at the small country school he won the art award. He had promise as an artist, but I think the bipolar was handed down from my dad to my son, to my grandson. He was drug seeking at that time too. His dad took him to live with him, but my son was sober and his son was making it hard to stay sober, so he went back to where his mom had remarried and moved to California. She called me once and asked me not to send cash gifts because he bought dope with it. I understood. He has lived many years in this existence and somehow stayed alive. Out of one treatment center he told us he did not want to stay sober. It was his choice.

Still do not know where my grandson is. Beautiful, sweet boy/man. He knows to do something to go to jail for winter. Obviously has street smarts (or dumbs). In California. Love the pup. All we can do is worry. Found out he has a son, teenager now. The relatives who raised him do not want my son to meet him. My son understands. So many years we fought his own drug addiction. Hep C treatments nearly killed him, but he respected Billy enough to let us help him get away from his drug sources and take him to the VA when his gallbladder had grown to his liver. That was back when the treatments/chemo took 11 months. Some days it just warmed my heart to hear him snoring. I knew he was still alive. But now his own son's life haunts him every day. There is a song that the late Joe Diffie sang that reminds me of these problems. A stanza of it stands out: "So here's to all the soldiers Who have ever died in vain The insane locked up in themselves The homeless down on Main To those who stand on empty shores And spit against the wind And those who wait forever For ships that don't come in. I think of my grandson when I hear it.

I love it. Both of them.

He is still a very handsome fellow. I remember his baby picture that fitted his name. Thank you. Keep family close as you can. Sometimes they pull away on their own. Have not heard from my grandson in about a year, and he was in jail (for the winter). Somehow, long time druggies, if they are allowed to live long term, they find ways to take care of themselves. Not our choice. It is theirs. Breaks our hearts though. His dad thinks and worries every day, as I'm sure his mom does too. He is well into his 30's now though.

Well Kevin, sounds like you get along with everyone. Recent picture of Atlas, please.

So true Kay. (Can you believe it, only three words.) Had to add more to be "myself."

I had two oral surgeons walk out on me in my 70's. Not my 80's. One of those surgeons told me to just "try eating w/o your teeth." A woman covering Medicare follow-up came into the office after my quarterly visit and questioned me about a lot of things. Goes along with age, I'm sure. I do have a problem, sometimes, with the right word coming to mind (and will think of it later), but she was a few years younger than me, and she said she had that problem too. I can have eggs (hate them), so I eat omelet with Egg Beaters. (And I just went to the refrigerator to look at the name on the box.) Happens sometimes. Sometimes I can google a name, synonyms, etc. But I guess I'm running about the same as most 81-year-olds. I took my sister for chemo at 10:30, picked her up about 30 minutes later, took her to early vote (they wouldn't let her), and then traveled about 22 miles to my granddog's house to carry her heart medicine (she is 14), and an antibiotic I picked up yesterday. So far, other than the cataract trips, I've been able to do for myself. I think about you when I'm getting bread, them now having keto bread. My main problem is fiber. I was amazed I could have grits, it is corn. I can have no corn. Fiber should be part of my life, but unfortunately it is my pain in the belly. I've done it 10 years now, but I can still remember the taste of celery, coconut, pecans, lettuce, tomatoes (if I peel the tomato and take out seeds, I can have it). I drink decaf (tremors) coffee about once a week with Southern Pecan creamer and can have onion powder. We all manage what we have to manage.

Certainly not. They looked dead. I never put them in my mouth. What idiot thought (in a proper professional place) that this was even passible, especially after the huge cost. I've had two oral surgeons turn away from me because I would not have screw ins. I have to have injections of antibiotics. I cannot take the pills/capsules because of the "gut" rupture. (Honestly, who needs more pain at 81?) My diet mostly consists of carbs. Have every four month exams, blood work. Everything was fine, I'd lost eight pounds, below diabetic levels still. I've learned to fix grits (bread), only corn I can have. Can have most underground veggies, and can have spinach and green beans. (No onions!!!). Have not had a salad in 10 years. Not by choice. Every time I eat something wrong, my system/me pays for it. I always put a cross in my bathroom in remembrance of the pain. I have 13 of them now. Each life is different in uncanny ways.

Weird things do happen. Back in the 90's, I did have dental insurance. It paid the first thousand, I paid the second thousand. The place had a good reference and after waiting two weeks they showed my gray new teeth. No joking, no exaggeration, these were the color GRAY. Took two more weeks, maybe longer to get natural-colored teeth. It was a total joke. I wasn't laughing.

My dentist took x-rays and then sent me to an oral surgeon. My teeth each had a tumor that ate up the roots of the teeth and it was my first visitation by "tumors" and pathology. That was in about 1961 or 1962, so we were way behind the way things go now. They were all benign and I can only figure they must have been like the teratomas that Kelli has. I've forgotten so much now. I was a medical transcriptionist for 43 years, and even then, we were not calling them teratomas. But we sure learned how to spell all those things, (no spell check) so we looked them up in Dorland's Medical Dictionary. I don't think there was a one of us that didn't suffer from symptoms of some sort, and we all knew how to do our Kegel exercises when one of us typed it and yelled it out.

My first uppers were that way. My dentist hit the roof. He was a mild-mannered small-town dentist, and he called the place that fitted me and made them fix it.

It seems like when we lost Gwen, the voices seemed to fade. Getting old really is not for sissies, according to Bette Davis, and me too. Gwen was a stark out bitching female we were all pulling for. I hate it if someone took her voice away from all of us. But, I'm also hoping she is not hurting like she was. We all worry about the creature she was turning her life over to and hope she does not control our Gwen. And with this site, we just never know. We are here. We are heard, but we are still anonymous. And then we are gone, somewhere, and it seems another friend is lost. That is how it is. I guess that is how it has to be. So many, the young lady from Spain, I think. Another in a war torn country, had lost her husband to war and was trying to keep her son safe. Gin in Chicago. Karen in Arizona. A retired teacher in the mountains of Arizona, think he is/was with another member from "across the pond." I hope it worked out. The rest of us, we hang on, all we can do.

Kevin, it was Billy's favorite. We knew it was made probably all in beautiful Canada with Canadian actors. We found it years ago. We watched it until Billy was gone, and since he had loved it so much, I felt lost watching it w/o him. You are right though. It is one of the most wholesome TV shows around, and I think it is still around so many years later. If anyone can find it (we have it on the USA TV's), so if you want something interesting, follow this family for years. My favorite was the "grandpa."

Why would you "catch it" from so many people? Maybe they feel awkward that a lone woman will have to shoulder so much work. Looks like someone would have asked to help you. Heck, I get people trying to take my groceries into my apartment, help with them at the car, people asking can they help all the time. I don't need their help, but I decline graciously, and tell them I still can carry things. I think maybe their conscience is hurting them if you "catch it from so many people." Reminds me of the song "I am woman hear me roar." (Not the name of it.). You sound terribly self-sufficient, and you expect the kind of treatment you deserve for being one little woman doing a monumental job.

Well, after reading this, I'm not sure if the weather/snow/cold/exertion will either harm you, kill you, or make you stronger. I know the anger is not good for you. Believe me, I go through with it. (Just the anger, not the exertion). Stay as safe as you can and realize people don't do unto others the same way you will help them. Makes it harder to help yourself. Stay inside as much as possible.

We have storms predicted, but since I rent an apartment, it does not worry me much. Too old to shovel anything. These won't be ice storms though. Have been running A/C.

I do not like tornadoes and sometimes too much/too little rain, but I do not like snow like y'all get either. Guess that is why we all live where we do. We get used to whatever problems the weather provides. I rode a straight road (well, there are curves) to across the Arkansas line this past week. It is a good road. The beauty of it is that it is old homes (lots of new ones too close to town), but mostly for 50 miles is old farmland. Actually, the people who own it now, or once owned it were all my relatives, and they were farmers. Houses are far between, but in the distance are old fruit trees and other things that were planted many years ago. They are blooming now. All along the roadway were the yellow daffodils and the white and yellow other bulbs flowers that had been washed from old homeplaces down to the highway. It was a most beautiful drive, peaceful, no traffic ever, and because it is home, I would not trade it. The mountains were exciting, the lakes, rivers and streams were beautiful in Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico and miles of endless nothing but probably wheat in Kansas. But we had four eyes enjoying all this. I enjoy seeing things close to home, but I don't venture out more than 175 miles from home anymore. We all get used to the heat, cold, snow, wherever we live. Because it is home.