Sues

Hi Kelly I appreciate your response. Thanks for confirming that spending all this time here with my sister is not the wrong thing to do....as in us delaying their personal grief work by us being a distraction. My other sister has a more flexible workplace but i don't work on Fridays which means i can spend 3 days here whilst she can cover the rest of the week. I will also drop in each night after work for a while. The sister in law and cousins will also be staying over as much as possible as her 2 girls are a great support to Andy's brother. I am sorry about the loss of your ex, you went out with this person and of course you are grieving. Andy's ex girlfriend drops in at the house every other day and yes she is grieving and finds comfort here...she is always welcome here because those two went out and although they weren't together at the time of Andy's passing she is going through a very hard time and is currently seeing a therapist. The new girlfriend is also here every night and the two of them get on well. Kelly I am from Australia and our culture kinda buries the topic of death. It has been very hard to locate information about death, especially young people. Thank you Sues

Hi I am not sure how to write all this down as my head is not clear and my heart is black. My sisters 17 yo son suddenly passed away on the 10th of January 07. We are new to grief and death so no experience here. This may sound stupid but I am wondering what DEALING with it means. I am wondering if we are stuffing our grieving and not dealing with it. Andy's mum, dad, younger brother, myself, the other sister, the sister in law and her 2 young girls have been living with the grieving family and have built a wall of comfort. We haven't had many trips outside of this little world we have created at my sister's house. I have taken out Andy's brother a couple of times and the world appears to be turning and caught up in it's insignificant tasks and activities whilst this is happening to us. It's strange yet surreal. I miss my nephew so much, we spent alot of time together with frequent sleepovers and many talks etc. We talk about Andy all the time and get great pleasure every night when his friends and g/friend come to the house and talk about Andy and his adventures and we laugh alot. I am not sure if what we are doing is delaying the process. My sister and her husband want us around all the time and i am also wondering if this is healthy for them. Of course its still very raw so we are staying at the house with them. I will never understand what the parents and son are going through and will go through all i know is when i look at my sister i feel like she has died too. I am also frightened about going back to work and all the time off i have had but half of me feels that if they can't understand what we are going through perhaps i don't want to work for this company. Half of me is scared of them letting me go due to all the time off. Thank you for listening to me Sues