maxaz1

Missing them is all the time. Weeping Ranting Raving Screaming Shaking fist at God Are less. But missing them is all the time. Tears fall more gently now. From time to time Dripping one after other From eyes to chin. A torrent, now and then. But missing them is all the time. The wishes, prayers, and fervent hopes That this might not be true Come still, But not as often now; And with deep knowledge of the truth Despite the wrong. And missing them is all the time. Life, now, is altered - Very changed From what it was - No going backward, Only forward - Missing them and moving toward the future all alone. But not alone. Remembering them is all the time. Maxine Piper In memory.

Thank you for this blessing. It touches me deeply, and I shall share it with others.

Hello Btrflie- I feel for you - I really do. I lost my mother 2 years ago, 2 weeks after her cancer diagnosis, and my father, who had initially been the one who had been ill, 7 weeks later. Both died in my home; with the help of hospice, my husband and I and our 2 teenagers were able to help my parents make their final journeys. The missing is terrible for us, isn't it? I have no siblings - my brother died 18 years ago, at the age of 35. So when you say you feel alone, I can understand. There is something earth shattering about losing our Moms - a connection is broken in a way like no other. But I want to tell you that although these 2 years have been hard and emotional, life has gone on. I want to share a moment that meant a lot to me. About 6 months after my parents died, I was looking at the stars at night, crying quietly,thinking about them. And I found myself wishing for a sign - a tap on the shoulder, a flash of light - anything to assure me that my parents, and the love we shared, were with me that night. As I had that thought, incredibly, a shooting star streaked across the sky. I gasped, but thought to myself - "A coincidence!" - and lo and behold, in that very instant, another shooting star sped by - exactly in the path of the first. I never feel quite as lonely any more. I carry the memory of that moment with me at all times, and I share it with you to remind you that you are not alone. You are never alone. Your mother is, indeed, with you. In your heart, and in the stars, and in the fresh breeze that caresses your hair on a spring day. Don't feel guilty. It is a waste of time and energy - you loved your mother and she loved you. Never lose sight of that. Remember that the friends and coworkers who tell you you look good - tell you that because they want you to be well. They sometimes don't know how long and how hard this time can be for you - but always remember that they mean well. You will shed tears, and those tears will help you heal. If harder times come (and they may well), find someone to help you to talk, to listen. Write your mother a letter. That really helps too. And Hospice probably has a grief counselor for you to contact. I hope you remember that you don't always have to be strong. Loss hurts. But it gets easier - and eventually, memories can make you smile and feel warm, instead of just bringing forth your tears. I wish you well, Maxine