It's been about 2wks since my mom died. Before it happened I thought I would feel relieved because she would no longer be in pain and have no more problems breathing,it killed me to see her like that. It was so unfair, but now that she is gone I feel so empty inside. I feel so SAD! I don't even think the word SAD explains how I feel. I don't want to do anything, getting out of bed in the morning is a project for me and having to go to work is a nightmare,I stopped going to school and now I just want to sleep. I don't even know how I feel half the time. I don't really talk to my dad or sisters about how I feel or what I am going through because they get upset too, and I can't deal with their feelings and mine it's too much so instead I keep everything inside and try to be strong and brave like my mom did when she was alive. It's like wearing a mask around everyone but then when they are gone you can take it off. When my mom was alive and I needed to leave or go somewhere I'd always ask her do you want me to stay, or is it ok if I go out. Then she would tell me go ahead and I would ask her to promise me it's ok and your not upset, and she would give me this look and say I promise. Well she died on a Sun Jan 21st and that following Friday night I had a dream she called me on my cell phone and we talked and she told me I will call you on Monday, and in the dream I asked her to promise, and she said I promise I will call you on Monday. So the rest of the week I got my hopes up and thinking crazy that Mommy is going to call me on Monday I really thought she was like a miracle or something would happened. Monday came around... No call I felt so ( I'm not sure) just really upset and depressed. Now it's like I feel every emotion and everything reminds me of her, I feel so lost without my Mommy I just don't know what to do.