To Willy's Mom: Your story and pictures made my heart break again. I know the pain you're feeling and would like to share the story of my precious Snowball. In 1992 I'd been in AZ for only a few months. I was working at a local hospital when my supervisor, who knew I was a cat person, rushed in and told me that an abandoned newborn kitten had been found in one of the courtyards (we had a large population of strays). I went out to look and there laying in the Arizona sun in August was a tiny white newborn with her umbilical cord still attached. She was obviously overheated and struggling to breathe. I put her tiny body on one of our huge hospital blankets and took her to a vet. As young as she was, they were able to rehydrate her and I took her home. A woman vet tech at this vet's office became Snowball's weekday mommy and I got her on the weekends. We bottle fed her and she thrived. I'll always regret that I never took her back to visit this woman because I'm sure that much of Snowy's sweetness was because of the kindness she received as a baby. I remember the exact moment I fell in love with her. She was still bottle feeding, but at least 2 or three weeks old. I held her in one hand and held her bottle in the other. When I looked down from the T.V., she was fast asleep in my hand, her bottle firmly in her mouth. That's when I knew she trusted me completely and that I was "mommy". Some of the moments that stand out in the almost 15 years of her life include me teaching her to use a litter pan. She was just a tiny kitten when I put her in the litter pan. I took her little paw and moved it through the litter. It only took a couple of tries and she was doing it on her own. Another time I had dinner guests. Snowball was about 5 or 6 months old and we were sitting around talking when she ran out of my bedroom carrying a huge ball in her mouth. Her long fur was all puffed out. She looked so proud of herself and so cute. I only wish I'd had a camera. The last time I'd like to tell you about is when I adopted the Smokey Joe kittens. I'd been fostering 4 grey kittens, but decided to keep them all. Up to that point they'd been separated from my others. When I let them out, I thought it would be showdown at the O.K. corral. My cats were on one side of the room and the kittens on the other. Some of my cats started growling until Snowball walked up to one of the kittens and started licking him. From then on they were accepted by my other kitties. That act of sweetness was typical of her personality. I later came to realize that she was part Ragdoll and that this breed is exceptionally sweet and loyal. By the way, all the Smokey Joes remained devoted to her for the rest of her life. Snowy slept in the crook of my arm every night and greeted me when I came home from work. She sat in my lap when I worked, read or watched T.V. The men in my life came and went, but my baby was always a constant. If I was hurt or lonely, I held her when I cried. When Snowy was about 10 years old, she developed health problems. I nursed her when sick, drove to Mexico several times a year to get her medicine because it was not available here, and fixed her medicine twice a day. Along the way I spent so much money on her, my family thought I was crazy...but to me it was worth it. Snowball had my heart. She saw me through my own health issues,as well as, the loss of friends and lovers. On January 24, 2007 it became apparent that she was suffering. The vet said that she was in end-stage renal failure. I could've tried once more with more medicine and subcutaneous fluids...but she'd just be through that the month before and hated it. So, I made the decision to let her go. I can honestly say that it was the most difficult decision I've ever made. I go to a great vet practice who let me be with her before, during and after the procedure, but I haven't cried that hard since I was a child. Since she's been gone, the house seems empty. I cry almost every night because she's not there to curl up against my arm. I still have six cats, Snowy was the third cat I lost this year to old age and illness, but none of them is my special baby. I too have put pictures everywhere and have her ashes here with me. Half the time I feel numb and the other half desparate to have her with me again. My head knows that I won't be able to replace her, but my heart has pushed me to contact breeder after breeder looking for a kitten that resembles her. I have never in my life paid more than an adoption fee for my babies, but I keep hoping that by getting a Ragdoll, I'll get at least a little piece of her. So you see you're not alone in your grief. There are others of us who have experienced that special love that you only give to and get from animals. My heart breaks for you and all the others who have lost someone special. I try to take solace in the fact that, given the choice, I would never have given up my time with Snowy or any of my other babies to avoid the pain I now feel. Snowball enriched my life so much and I learned to be a better person because of her. She taught my patience, unconditional acceptance, kindness, and devotion. She will always be with me and as I always told her...I will love you forever Snowball. Thanks for letting me tell you about my special girl.
