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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

laura 44

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  • Posts

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About laura 44

  • Birthday 04/20/1962

Contact Methods

  • MSN
    horsebefree2002@hotmail.com
  • Website URL
    http://
  • Yahoo
    horsebefree2004@yahoo.com

Profile Information

  • Location (city, state)
    moravia,NY
  • Interests
    geneology, music, wildlife, cats, scary movies, collecting japanese objects.

Previous Fields

  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. hi, my name is laura c. I joined the group almost 2 wks. ago so new . as I wasn't sure how to exactly post what my situation is, waited till today. rather than keep figuring out what to write, decided to do it today. out of the forums , I see this is the one I seem to fall under the most. here goes-I am 44. I had a really rough childhood.I was raised as an only child, and still feel like an only child. my parents are both deceased. my mother had breast cancer when I was around 4 yrs. old, there are very few memories I have of her, she was a good person, I have been told by people that knew her. my memories are mainly of her being sick and the tears of her in pain. while there are some good memories of her, they are few. my dad was the opposite, of my mom. my mom died when I was 9 and a half- 2 days before I turned 10. we didn't get to say goodbye. I did go to her funeral, but never really got over her death. and, I feel like I never have at 44 . after my moms passing, my dad and I never really developed a relationship. he was a hard person in life. there was no other mother to call mom as I grew up. in my teen yrs., I spent time in foster homes, and a childrens home. it always seemed there was little family in my life, and alot of my life I survived thru myself, getting thru what was dealt me. never questioning it, just dealing w. it. at 19, I learned thru albany, NY, I was an adoptee. this totally changed my life from even what it was. it hit hard.my dad would not really help me thru it, so, over the yrs, pretty much alone did my searching into answers on my life and learning the truth. Thru this, I did marry, and am still married, w. 3 teen sons. In 2006, I was able to petition NY state, and get my real- parents names. but not my original birth cert. my ammended birth cert. listed only my dads name, there is no mothers name on it. this added to my grief as well, having to prove the mom I knew was my real mom. my real dad was my dad on my ammended birth cert. all the time, and my real mom , that had died was my real mom, all the time as well. my dad died w. him and I not speaking for almost a yr. due to my adoption. we did not get to say goodbye either. since 2006, I have started my geneology search into my mom/ dad and my heritage.also, trying to find a half sister I knew of 20 yrs. ago. this yr. as I now know who I am, trying to find my sister, if she will be willing to be in my life. she is 67, and was angry at me and my mom, and I don't know why still 20 something yrs. later, but still need to try, as we are sisters. I know this is long, and complex. but, all of this over the yrs. has all added up. it is w. me every day. I am trying to find closure thru it all, and finally trying to find happiness somehow thru it. but it is so hard. yes, I am a survivor, but grieving it seems all my life. I am grateful for my family, and treasure what I have, but there is that other part of me that grieves and feels alone every day, it seems. I am always looking for positives to get me thru. can someone please read this ,and help me thru this. thank you for listening, always open for ideas, and new friends. also, looking for a sister epal, if anyone knows of such a thing. god bless- laura c.
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