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MartyT

Admin
  • Content Count

    10,028
  • Joined

6 Followers

About MartyT

  • Rank
    Grief Counselor
  • Birthday 02/10/1943

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    mother, daughter, friend, pet parent
  • Date of Death
    5/26/67, 9/3078,10/06/93
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    tousleym
  • Website URL
    http://www.griefhealingblog.com
  • Yahoo
    martytousley

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Sarasota, Florida

Recent Profile Visitors

11,810 profile views
  1. Alisa, my dear, the resentment you feel is understandable ~ and certainly justified in light of how this man has behaved toward you. After all, you've worked hard and you've done your best to live a good and decent life ~ while these two seem to have sailed through life taking advantage of all "the system" had to offer them. I think it's only human for you to feel as you do, and I hope you will allow yourself those feelings. Oftentimes it takes more energy to deny our feelings than it does to acknowledge them and think about what's causing them. Once we acknowledge what we are feeling and why
  2. Alisa, my dear, for what it's worth, I just wanted to add my voice to Kay's in offering you support as you come to terms with this failed relationship. It seems to me that this man was looking not for a partner but for another woman who is willing to mother him. I hope you will let go of any doubt you have about refusing to buy a car for him. Remember what happened the first time when you provided him with a car: He's already demonstrated how little he values your property and your generosity. The person you described in your post is immature, lazy, irresponsible, disrespectful and sh
  3. I'm so sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult and challenging position, but pleased to know that you've found your way here with us. I understand your wanting to respect "a dying man's wishes not to talk about it" while at the same time your own need to do so leaves you feeling muzzled. Two thoughts come to mind. First, as your brother faces his diagnosis and lives whatever time is left to him, bear in mind that (just like living) dying is a process that takes place over time, and however he thinks, feels and behaves toward you right now is likely to change over the course of hi
  4. Unfortunately, no. The emotions of grief can hit us at any time, and sometimes when we least expect them ~ but that doesn't mean that we cannot learn how to manage them. See In Grief: Coping with STUGs ❤️
  5. You are so welcome, Jacqui. If you've had little or no experience with it, grief can be a frightening experience ~ but remember that since the beginning of time, people have been dealing with and surviving the most horrific losses. As I've written elsewhere, grief is not an illness or a pathological condition ~ it is a normal reaction to losing someone we love dearly, and the depth of grief we feel is in direct proportion to the attachment we have to the one we have lost ~ or in your case, to the one you're expecting to lose. In that sense, grief is the price we pay for love. There is no
  6. It makes a great deal of sense, Jacqui ~ and it serves as evidence that you do have some measure of control over your own reactions. You can do this, my dear. You ARE doing this, and we are here to support you, every step of the way. ❤️
  7. From What Is A Blog? A blog (a shortened version of “weblog”) is an online journal or informational website displaying information in reverse chronological order, with the latest posts appearing first, at the top. It is a platform where a writer or a group of writers share their views on an individual subject. And from my own Grief Healing Blog, on the web since 2009, at https://www.griefhealingblog.com: . . . this is my way of sharing with caregivers and the bereaved – and with those who care for and about them – all the online treasures I find as I work my way around the Internet, in s
  8. Oh Joyce! I'm so sorry to learn of all your heath issues ~ but we do so appreciate your letting us know! As you can see, we've been worrying about you and needed to hear from you. Please know that we are keeping you in our thoughts and hearts as you continue on this journey, and do keep us posted, as you are able to do so . . . ❤️
  9. I'm so sorry for the reason that brought you here, Jacqui ~ but pleased that you've found your way to us. You are not alone in this. We will walk beside you and offer our continued comfort, information and support. As a start, I invite you to read the following: Anticipatory Grief and Mourning Anticipatory Grief and Mourning: Suggested Resources
  10. SPRING APRIL 2021 ELETTER FROM WINGS APRIL ELETTER-CLICK HERE Nan & Gary Zastrow nanwings1@gmail.com the founders of: wingsgrief.orgWings--a Grief Education Ministry Visit Wings on FACEBOOK website: wingsgrief.org
  11. The hundreds of posts in this forum are testament to the fact that the pain of loss can be handled and worked through. You can handle the pain ~ your presence here with us is evidence that you are, in fact, handling it ~ and you will continue to do so as long as you allow yourself to acknowledge it. to feel it and to express it ~ and as long as you take care of yourself physically, even when you do not feel like doing so. See Bereavement: Doing The Work of Grief
  12. In those moments when you feel a need to "do" ~ you might try doing a bit of reading, if you're able to concentrate long enough to do so. I believe very strongly that grief can make us feel very crazy, isolated, and alone ~ unless we understand what is normal (and therefore predictable) in grief, so we can anticipate some of our reactions and discover what we can do to manage those reactions. (That is why your being here with us, among others whose losses and experiences are similar to your own, can be so helpful. We also offer lots of suggestions and reliable information you can trust.)
  13. My heart bleeds for you, my dear man, and I wish I had the words to comfort you. I can only say how grateful I am that you've found your way to this warm and compassionate place. You are with kindred spirits here, and we welcome you with open arms and caring hearts. You are not alone. We are right here beside you, hurting with you, sending you love and light. I am so very sorry for your loss . . . ❤️
  14. From Editors at VeryWellMind: The 7 Best Online Grief Support Groups of 2021: Our editors independently research, test, and recommend the best products; you can learn more about our review process here. BEST MONITORED DISCUSSION GROUP Grief Healing With a variety of grief-related articles and resources, Grief Healing is a great resource that provides access to discussion groups. Their communities offer opportunities for users to share stories and connect with others who understand loss. The site reports that their discussion groups are closely monitored and mode
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