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Everything posted by MartyT

  1. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this, my dear, and feeling so alone in the process. In addition to the readings Kay has mentioned, I'm hoping you'll find these helpful too. (Note that each article includes links to related resources as well). Anticipatory Grief and Mourning Coping with A Cancer Diagnosis: Suggested Resources In Grief: "I Didn't Want My Mom To See Me Cry"
  2. Your writing is simply beautiful, dear Kay ~ and a tribute to Mother Nature and her Creator. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
  3. See Helping A Grieving Parent, and note the additional readings listed at the base. ❤️
  4. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the pain and suffering you're experiencing now. I invite you to read this article, in hopes that you may find its contents helpful: Pet Loss and Animal Communication: Suggested Resources
  5. Oh my, dear Kay! It's amazing to me that you've been bitten so many times by other people's dogs! I assume at some point you've been given a tetanus shot ~ and I hope you know whether all these dogs have been vaccinated against rabies. I know you're a dog lover of the first order, and I'm so sorry you continue to be harmed by so many of them . . .
  6. Since you have access to the Internet, James, you have many resources available today ~ at your fingertips ~ that didn't even exist in the 80's. See, for example, Asperger/Autism Network and Autism Speaks: Resources and Services for Adults with Autism ❤️
  7. I'm so sorry to learn of the challenges you're facing, my friend. Clearly you and your wife have different grieving styles ~ but that does not negate your own grief and your legitimate need for understanding and support. Since your wife doesn't offer what you need and refuses to go to counseling, might you consider looking for other sources of support, such as books, articles and support groups designed for and aimed specifically at men who are grieving? Kelly Farley is one author who comes to mind; his book Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back includes not only his own story of having lost two unborn babies in the span of 18 months, but also the accounts of other bereaved fathers who are mourning the loss of a child. (Click on the book's title to read Amazon's description and reviews.) Read more about Kelly on his Grieving Dads website, and find more of his writings at Open to Hope. See also Silent Grief: Pregnancy and Infant Loss and How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences. (Note that both these articles include additional resources listed at their bases.) And you may find this one helpful as well: Does Child Loss Destroy A Marriage?
  8. The Institute warmly invites you to participate in these upcoming programs. Each is designed to provide comforting insight and inspiration as you walk along your grief journey or help others on their path. Click on the "REGISTER" button to sign up. Live webinars include a Q&A session, giving you the opportunity to submit a question to the speaker. From Grief to Peace: Journaling for Life After Loss September 21 | Noon - 1:00 pm ET Live Webinar Journaling does more than simply record your day-to-day experience; it helps you organize your thoughts, process traumatic events, and find meaning through your lived experience. The many health benefits of journaling supported by science include reduction in symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and trauma; improved memory; and increased immune functioning. You don’t even need to be a “good writer” to benefit from journaling. During this workshop you will learn the best practices for journaling and have the opportunity to try it for yourself! Please bring your journal or something to write in or have a blank document open on your computer for practice. Presenter: Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT, TAPS Advisory Board Member Intended Audience: Anyone interested in learning about how journaling can help when coping with grief. Continuing Education Information: Continuing education credit is not available. REGISTER _________ Where Faith Meets Grief: The Role of Faith and Spirituality in Coping with Loss October 19 | Noon - 1:00 pm ET Live Webinar Faith and spirituality are interwoven into one's personal experience with illness and loss, and they can be effective tools for healthy coping. Join Rev. Weaver to discuss the dynamics and effects of faith and spirituality on the grieving process, even when the loss challenges one's beliefs. Presenter: Rev. Dr. Jerome G. Weaver Intended Audience: Anyone interested in learning about the role of faith and spirituality in the grieving process.  Continuing Education Information: Continuing education credit is not available. REGISTER Navigating Conversations Around Grief and the Holidays November 2 | Noon - 1:00 pm ET Live Webinar Planning for and coping with the holidays while grieving can bring up feelings and situations that can be uncomfortable. Join Rachel Kodanaz for an empowering discussion of how to navigate conversations and plans around the holidays. Learn strategies and share ideas about how to find meaningful ways to celebrate the holidays and honor your grief while still protecting yourself and your feelings. Presenter: Rachel Kodanaz, TAPS Advisory Board Member Intended Audience: Anyone interested in learning ways to navigate uncomfortable conversations and situations during the holiday season.  Continuing Education Information: Continuing education is not available for this program. REGISTER
  9. Your lovely message touches our hearts, dearest Fae, and we thank you for that. We may have provided the information, comfort and support you needed ~ but YOU are the one who did the work. And you have given us just as much ~ and more ~ than you have received. ❤️
  10. Is your mother on a hospice service? A referral to hospice can keep residents in an assisted living facility for end-of-life care, with skilled medical/psychosocial care and supplemental personal care provided by the hospice team. Residents remain in familiar surroundings, with hospice providing comfort-focused care, equipment, and supplies to address the hospice diagnosis, while the ALF continues to provide non-hospice-related services.
  11. By Peggy Haymes Some days there is just too much too-muchness. It may be a reflection of your own life and how things are going, whether it's the never-ending demands of caregiving or the unforgiving pressure of finances or the bad news about the people whom you love that just seems to keep coming. It feels like too much. Or it may just be the side effect of living in this world these days. As I've shared with some of you, the other week I had a doctor visit. After taking my vitals, the nurse did her obligatory screening. "In the last few weeks, have you felt down, helpless, hopeless, or depressed.?" I thought for a moment. Covid surging again. Afghanistan. The west on fire and Ida pummeling the east. "No more than is appropriate," I answered. As Alexander learned on his no good, terrible, very bad day (a classic children's book), some days are like that. Some times are like that. Which means that taking care of ourselves, which is never optional, becomes even more essential. Self-care has become a bit of a buzzword, often translated into "get a massage and a pedicure." Which may not be possible for some people. Which may not be helpful for some people. At its very heart, self-care is about stepping away and taking a breath. For some of you, that may mean a handful of days away where you can unplug. For some of you, it may mean taking an afternoon -- or even an hour -- just for yourself. For some of you, it may mean saying no when you usually say yes. In my blog this week, I've shared a video about why sometimes stepping away from the world is the best thing you can do for this world, and some simple ways to do just that.. You can find it at https://www.heartcallings.com/blog/breath Peace, Peggy Haymes Heart Callings, 2806 Reynolda Road, #207, Winston-Salem, NC 27106, United States
  12. See also Caregiving in Serious Illness: Suggested Resources ❤️
  13. That we will do, my dear ~ and we are grateful for your presence too. ❤️
  14. "Alternative therapy encompasses a variety of disciplines, including acupuncture, guided imagery, chiropractic treatment, yoga, hypnosis, biofeedback, aromatherapy, relaxation, herbal remedies, massage and many others. "In the past decade, strong evidence has been gathered for the benefits of mind-body therapies, acupuncture, and some nutritional supplements for treating pain. Other alternative therapies such as massage, chiropractic therapies, therapeutic touch, certain herbal therapies, and dietary approaches have the potential to alleviate pain in some cases. "Mind-body therapies are treatments that are meant to help the mind’s ability to affect the functions and symptoms of the body. Mind-body therapies use various approaches, including relaxation techniques, meditation, guided imagery, biofeedback, and hypnosis. Relaxation techniques can help alleviate discomfort related to chronic pain." [Source: Pain Management: Alternative Therapy] Unfortunately these methods just don't always work for everyone ~ and different people have different levels of tolerance for pain. This is an example of the pamphlet I was given following my most recent surgery: Information on Nonopioid Alternatives for the Treatment of Pain. Needless to say, none of it worked for me.
  15. My dear, what you describe is all too common ~ We just don't talk about it much, especially in the work place. I share the following articles in hopes that they may be helpful to you: When Grief Affects Performance at Work In Grief: Coming Apart at The Seams When Delayed Grief Affects Work Performance
  16. I agree with Karen, Kay. Thanks to government guidelines, (not rules, but guidelines, mind you) pain medication is rarely prescribed following too many surgeries these days. They just send you home with a pamphlet about "alternative methods of pain control". None of those methods is sufficient enough for post-surgical pain ~ at least not for most normal human beings like us. I urge you to get in touch with your surgeon or your PCP and demand a prescription that will provide you with adequate pain relief following your foot surgery. Be a squeaky wheel ~ or an absolute pest if necessary. I just don't think many of these doctors have ever, ever experienced real post-surgical PAIN. Also apply an ice pack to your foot at least 3 times a day for as long as you have pain, swelling, and inflammation. For the first 72 hours, ice for 10 minutes, once an hour. (I did that for my hand surgeries and it helped a lot.) ❤️
  17. Voices of Experience: Delayed Grief In Grief: When Sorrow Is Delayed Delayed Grief: When We Don't Take Time to Mourn
  18. When a grandchild is terminally ill, a grandparent experiences a double dose of anticipatory grief: you fear for and feel for not only your very sick grandchild but for your own child as well, as you bear the suffering of both. It is a double grief. I am so sorry! Please know that we are here to hurt with you and to walk with you as you find your way through this difficult and challenging time. I offer these readings in hopes that they will give you some understanding and support: Anticipatory Grief and Mourning Anticipatory Grief and Mourning: Suggested Resources ❤️
  19. Simply because it IS unfair sometimes. I'm so sorry you lost your dad so soon. The same thing happened to me when I was your age: my father died suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack, also at the age of 68. Gone too soon. Way too soon. You are mourning the loss of your dad along with all the hopes and dreams you had for him, and you are facing the rest of your life without his physical presence in it. I am so, so sorry . . .
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