Thank you to all of those who responded. I am so sorry for all of your losses. It is so comforting to know that I am not alone in my pain. We are all alike in that someone we cared for very much left this world and we share the same feelings of despair, emptiness and loss. It helped me to know that some of you had dreams and that some of you also question heaven. Deep down I know my mom is "free" of her cancer stricken body and hopefully reunited again with the loved ones she once lost. I must admit as spiritual as she was, towards the end she was very scared, as I think most of us will be. That, I think, is what really affected me. I keep picturing her being scared, sad, and angry that she was going to be leaving us and saying how unfair everything is. She wanted to see her grandchildren grow up and be at their weddings. She desperately wanted to see how they would all turn out in life. All her and my dad ever talked about was retirement and what they would do when they retire. She worked so hard her whole life and never got to see retirement. I know how lucky I was to be with my mom for 34 years of my life and for her to see my children. I know there are people out there who lost their mom's a lot younger than I. I guess the time you spend with your mom is never enough when you are so close to her. I always say to everyone who still has their mom around "cherish every moment you have with her and always let her know how much she means to you". You have all inspired me to be patient and that healing is a process. I do strongly hope one day she will come to me in my dreams to let me know she is happy and okay. Then, at that moment, I will believe there is a peaceful place we go to. ~Anne