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bugabob

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  1. My older sister Jenny was killed in a car accident at the age of 28 in August last year. I have been an atheist my entire life, and it is something I have always struggled with, and am having a particularly difficult time with now. I know that I will never believe in god or an afterlife, and I feel that this makes the grieving process even more difficult. Over the last couple of months I have become very afraid of death, both my own and that of those close to me. I have never had much experience with fear before. I have never really been confronted with anything that truly terrified me until I was forced to contemplate the reality of death without an afterlife, or any kind of comfort from a belief in the divine. I've been to counseling, which really helped with the acute grief and depression I was suffering about six months after my sister's death. I have found a lot of comfort in the thought that she lives on in the effects she had on others, but I find no comfort in that thought when contemplating my own mortality. there are so many things that I want to do that the concept of death as a final ending is almost overwhelming. I would like to hear thoughts from anyone who has had to deal with loss and for some reason has been unable to find comfort in religious beliefs.
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