Teny, Sharing your great sadness with others who have experienced something similar is so helpful. Having someone listen to you, validates what you are feeling. You have shared your sadness with all on this forum. That takes great strength and courage. We are listening. Keep sharing what is in your heart. We will be here to support you on your journey through this wilderness. Know that you are not alone and that others do care. Wishing you peace and comfort, Mary Jo M.