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lavender

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Everything posted by lavender

  1. First of all, I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my mama on 5/30/07. It is still so hard and unreal. I still have my daddy. He is 84. I too think about someday what will happen to their house and property. I have 3 older brothers I am the youngest daughter - age 50. I was raised there and now live next door to them. I can't bear the thoughts of someone else living in their house and everything gone. My thoughts are with you!
  2. Mama died on 5/30/07. I still feel so bad! I never dreamed of not having her here. I live next door to mama and daddy. I have still been going out to the house everyday since she died. I am at the point though - that I feel like if I cry or start talking about mama when I am around people including some of my family - that it's like I'm not supposed to. Well I can't forget my mama. I was with her 50 years. She was 84. I don't feel comfortable crying in front of them. I know time goes on - but it's hard not to be this way. So when I go to bed at night - that is my cry time. I miss her so much! Seems like I have had to do a last of "firsts" lately. Her first birtday not with us, a store I go into without her just things like that. Yesterday I had a tooth pulled and went out there and layed on her bed like I used to do. That was a first also since she died. I don't believe it gets any easier - some people say it does - but I don't think so. I can be driving down the road and all of a sudden it just hits me like a brick - mama is gone.
  3. Yesterday started very emotional for me. Mama's 85th birthday! I went to the mausoleum for awhile. I cried the whole way home. I bought 2 birthday balloons and wrote on them different things - like Happy 85th birthday in heaven, etc. I let them go and watched them go way way up! It was a sad day - I kept thinking now what would I have gotten mama for her birthday today! Well the last part of the day after crying alot - was a bit better! I miss her so much! When I went to the mausoleum - Virginia a girl that works in the office told me mama's picture and poem had come back. It is an 8x10 - a face picture of mama with a ocean background and a really pretty poem. It also showed born and died dates! That was emotional too!
  4. Evidently my computer is slow or something today and the posts are not showing up. But my mom's birthday is coming up on 7/7/07. She died on 5/30/07 at the age of 84. I am 50 and feel as though my world is shattered! I miss mama so much! My son, granddaughter and myself wrote on a balloon Sat. and let it drift away into the sky - it when way up in the clouds almost as if going to heaven. I am going to get 2 or 3 more balloons for mama's birthday and do the same with them as a rememberance to her. I don't know but everyday seems so hard. I live next door to them - my daddy is also 84. So I am in their house everyday. I try not to go into her room that often. It just hurts so bad! I never really dreamed of being without my mama.
  5. You aren't alone. I lost my mom on 5/30/07. She was 84. I am 50 - I almost feel like a child - I really really miss her. I live next door to her and my dad. They celebrated their 64th wedding anniversay on 4/14/07. On 4/19/07 she was diagnosed with lung cancer in both lungs - never even smoked. I don't go into her room either unless I need to for something. In her bedroom everything is exactly like it was. It will be a long time before I can ever do anything with it. I go in there and her coat is laying on the bed - I pick it up and it smells just like her. I am so sad! I know my dad is too! Everybody says it gets easier - but I don't know I was so used to seeing her everyday! I look forward to knowing I will see her again! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
  6. I MISS MAMA SO BAD TODAY! I AM AT WORK - AND IT'S SO HARD TO FUNCTION. I FEEL LIKE I COULD JUST GO OUTSIDE AND LAY DOWN IN THE YARD AND CRY, CRY, CRY!
  7. My mom passed away on 5/30/07. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in both lungs on 4/19/07. She was 84 yrs. old. I am 50. I miss her so - I know I was so lucky to have her for 50 years with me, but right now I feel so lost without her. I live next door. I was around her everyday and called her from work. My daddy is doing ok. He is 84. I know it is hard on him. They were married 64 years on 4/14/07. I feel so alone without her - I hope somehow my pain can go away somewhat. I just feel sick to my stomach - I go in her room and pick up her coat and it smells just like her.
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