Ruth, I just signed onto this website because of losses of my own, but you touched my heart. It was many years ago that I lost my best pet-friend, a little, silly, funny, bird--we went through a lot together. Sam's death (his name) was the worst thing that happened to me at that time. I still dream of that little bird and he's sitting on my shoulder, singing his heart out. You go ahead and grieve, Ruth. Max's loss was a major blow to you--but please stop the guilt! You did the best you could and no one will ever know that more than Max. I truly believe that animals have souls that live on and one of my most comforting ideas is that my Sam will be singing at the end of that tunnel, just waiting for me. Max will be there for you, too. Blessings