dgerb, You are not alone, keep connecting with those who care about you. Even when it feels like they couldn't understand what you are going thru, you can be sure that their concern for you is sincere. As far as the "unexplained things" happening around you? Who knows, this is a wonderful and complex universe maybe it is your Brandy. Have you tried writing her a letter? keep us informed on how you are doing. Georgeanna A Celebrated Life