jane99

The correspondce alone to the post is helping. He died end of Febraury of 2007, I did not find out he was sick until Dec 2006 and I was expecting a lot more time -- 5 years. He was a very private person, but I think to myself that maybe if he was not private about his sickness we would of had more time for more options......so when I do talk freely about him I think others get mad because he was private. It's so confusing at times.

Ya, that's kinda it. The worst part is that to try to talk to anyone about any feeling unless they are a third party that doesn't know anything, it turns into an arguement. Which in turn just makes me feel free worse because I do not even feel I can turn to my family when I need them most.

I don't know if I am being selfish and feeling sorry for myself or what? Before I lost my father I thought him and I where really close, now it seems like like every time I turn a corner something happens that seems to take that away. ?? Does anyone else have a similair experiences??