I am writing because I just lost my beloved 11 yr old minpin and her name is jagger. I miss her so much. I cry all the time, huge tears. I have her daughter with me, she is 8 yrs old. It helps to have hershey, her daughter, with me, but things have changed oh so terribly. I just never went thru something like this, I am disabled and my furbabies are my second set of children. I do have a son and a daughter in their mid 20's out of the home, on their own. I am alone, and so sad. I dont know what to do with my self at times. I have two small figureines about three inches tall which someone has sent to me. and I have Jagger's ashes. One of the figurines which looks exactly like Jagger, and it has a halo and wings on it, it is glued to the box of ashes. They are on my dresser. jagger died on March 30 2004 and I cannot get over how hurtful this is, both of them are my velcro dogs. one attached to each hip. One thing, when I went someplace, as for example, the grocery store of the doctor appt. both furbabies were left alone no problem. But now since hershey is alone all by herself, she has been going thru seperation anxiety and has some medication from her vet, and it works, I just hate having to drug her at all. anyway, I cannot seem to get passed this. I have some good days and some bad days. and lately they have been bad days, crying huge tears running down my face. it is horrible. I need to be able to vet to people who have been thru this and can relate to me and wont judge me. It would be bad and terrible had she passed when I worked but this is worse as I am with them twenty four hours a day 7 days a week and so close. both dogs sleep with me, one on each side, and I swear some days I can feel Jagger's fur on my right thigh, the side she slept on my bed. Oh I hate this. Jagger had pancreatitis. and in the past oct of 2004 she was diagnosed with diabetes. Hershey, her daughter has had diabetes since 2001. so they are so special to me, and we have a very special bond. jagger didnt do well with me giving her shots, and was getting mean, I had to buy muzzle so she wouldnt bit me. Hershey is completely opposite, she lets me give her the insulin shots with no problems. well, I know I am venting and I need some reassurance that things will get better, I have people and friends who think I should get another pet. NO NO NO to some people this helps them to me, no way. It is easier now with me being disabled with only haveing hershey, but when she goes, and she will as she has cushings disease and diabetes and is 8 yrs old. Then I will think about another pet. I cannot afford what i have right now, without getting online help from groups who have been so great helping us. and the breed of the next dog will NOT be a minpin. they are very hyper, and I dont want a reminder of jagger and hershey when they are gone. I do want a small, short hair no fuss no muss, doggie, a 5 or a 6 pound doggie, was thinking of a chiwawah(spelling) or a rat terrier/mix something like that. and I am not looking forward to potty training. I just am at my wits end. what do I do? is there a lite at the end of the tunnel. and I also have been told people grieve in their own way, and time, so I keep this in mind. I think i am doing well, then I have the days that i described. Well... I hope i havent bored you all. I just need people who understand. Help me please as I am so very very sad. thanks, denise and hershey and my little angel jagger
