I am so sorry for your loss. My husband of 30 years dies on June 19th from pancreatic cancer. He was a picture of health, a kickboxer who wroked out everyday until April of this year. He started having stomach pain and they took out his gallbladder, which was not the problem. We went through various test and found out he had pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver. On Monday, of that week the dr. told us he had maybe 3 months to live, so we though we had time to do our special talk, but by Tues. at 2 pm he was gone. I went down stairs for 15 min. and when I returned he was gone. I didn't need to say I love you, because we were that close, we both knew how we felt about each other. He was only 47 years old but we had our kids at a early age so we were beginning to enjoy our time together alot. We had bought a boat and spent alot of our time on the lake alone. My life has been turned upside down so bad that I don't know how to live anymore. He never had the chance to tell me how I was suppose to live my life without him. Our kids are grown and we had just had our first grandchild. Around my house things seem to disappear. Radio comes on at the same time every afternoon and plays for an hour and then goes off. I know somehow he is still here with me in this house. Bedtime seems to be the worse for me. Most night, when I can sleep, I cry myself to sleep. Since he dies I've lost about 30 lbs. When I try to eat, I seem to gag on everything. Just nee to know I'm mourning the right way.