Hi I just found this grief list through google. I lost my fiancee two weeks ago today. We were to be married on August 11th. He was coming down to pick me and my boys up as we were moving to where he lived. We have been in the process of moving things up over the last 6 months. My house was sold, we were buying a house up there. I just feel like my whole world has been ripped out from under me. Most days it is a stuggle to get out of bed and go forward. I have two young boys that depend on me so I just keep going. Most days I feel like a zombie. I still can't believe he's gone. I talked to him on the phone just about an hour before he died. He was busy running around getting last minute things done for us the next thing I know his stepmom is calling me telling me he is gone. He has a massive heart attack and there was nothing they could do to bring him back. For days I would wake up and think it must be a dream he can't be gone. Please tell me where I can get help with this. I can't bear the pain at times, I can't breath, I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep because i just think of him. I'm so tired of people telling me it will be ok and things happen for a reason. I don't understand why God would bring us together and then rip him from my boys and I like that. Please any ideas you have Thanks Pamm
