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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Deonna

Contributor
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About Deonna

  • Birthday 07/31/1972

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://
  • Yahoo
    deonna27@yahoo.com

Profile Information

  • Location (city, state)
    Illinois
  • Interests
    Art, books, people, pets.

Previous Fields

  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. How TRAGIC! I will keep this family and child in my prayers, god bless her...and the family left behind to grieve.
  2. Christian: I know life can be cruel and it isn't fair. Everyone has offered you such good advice. I will only add one thing, my dad taught me. Life is full of peaks and valleys. You WILL get on top of the hill again, it is all a part of this journey we call life. Take care and hang in there, much love to you...Deonna
  3. LoriS: Thank you, for your comments, it made me chuckle you were drinking coffee while reading the post. I love the coffee shop, however at times I don't feel like being CHEERY, however I tend to put on a happy face even if I don't want to because I have such great loyal customers that get me through. Starkiss: Thank you, I cannot imagine the person that would do such a thing, but I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around. Starkiss, sorry for your losses. Much luv to you both, Deonna
  4. Thank you so much for comments, it really has made me feel so much better today. Much love to you both, Deonna
  5. Hello to all of you. My dad will be gone 2 years this Sunday. It's a time to remember and reflect. As I've been pondering on what to do for my dad that would be special to remember my dad on this day of his death. Now it is marked with a person that seems to have no respect for the dead or their loved ones. When my dad passed, his funeral was done very quickly. So, I decided to mark his grave with a huge stone, (with a poem inscripted on it, "A heart of gold stopped beating to shining eyes at rest, god broke are hearts to prove he only takes the best".)until his stone was finished. Well my stepmother informed me yesterday that the stone and tripod it set on is gone, stolen! I just cannot imagine what kind of person would do such a thing. So, now I'm mixed with feelings of sadness and anger. I guess on top of this, I just wish I could go back and be the person I was. Reflecting on the 2 years since my dad left, I don't feel his passing has done anything but made me half the person I was. Yes, I did grow stronger in ways, but weaker in other ways. I did start my own business, which I probly would have never had the guts to do, but I wonder if it was a mistake at times. I started a coffee house and it exhaust me with all the hours, but it has it's bonus's of meeting so many good people. It also serves as a dream for dad and I. As we had coffee everyday together. I don't know I'm rambling, I keep you all in my prayers...god bless, Deonna
  6. Dusky: You move me to tears. Such a way with words. I always love reading your comments and posts. I was reflecting on the loss of my dad today, before coming across your post. Who I was back then, what I was doing, what was important to me, and all that is left of me today. He will be gone 2 years this October 28th. God bless you and your beloved Jack. Much Love, Deonna
  7. AnnieO: I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you & your family in prayers. God Bless you. Deonna
  8. Derek: My heart goes out to you. I'm a single parent of a ten year old boy. He too acted up around the age of 8 years old. It's really tough as a parent, because you know that you didn't raise them to behave in such a manner. When my son Nathan was doing similiar behaviors as your son in school, I absolutely dreaded picking him up to find out what his teachers or after school teachers were going to tell me about his "performance" in school that day. Getting Nathan involved in a lot of after school activities, (sports, band, etc.) worked for him. I think it brought him a since of belonging a long with a good set of boundaries and guidelines to follow. I know being a part of a team working towards a goal has brought a lot more of his leadership skills a long with being a great sport. The bedroom issue: Nathan is 10 and still sleeps at the foot of my bed. I cannot seem to get him to sleep in his room which is on the main floor of our home (my bedroom is upstairs). Part of this is my fault, but I'm so tired by the end of the night, (I own and operate a coffee house in my home town). I just rather him sleep on my floor then go through a entire debate with him of why and when he will sleep in his room. Good luck, and I will keep you in my prayers. Deonna
  9. Shell: Sooooo sorry for the loss of your mother. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs, Deonna
  10. bmsbabygirl: Anger is normal, I went through a lot of anger right after my dad died. My dad's last day was filled with helping family and friends. Taking someone to get their car fixed, helping a neighbor, etc. He took a walk around the block (my dad worked out 2 hours a day/for over 30 years).Honestly I think my dad being "a health nut", was part of the shock. He never ever was sick. Actually he just had a clean bill of health from his Dr. a month before he passed. Anyway, He always loved to walk around the block right before dinner. He did that, got a glass of water and sat down in "his chair" and died. I'm so sorry about your dad, being scared about losing others, is something I went through as well. It does get better with time, I hate saying that to you because when my grief was as fresh as yours, for some reason it annoyed me. However, it is true. God Bless, and I will keep you in my prayers.
  11. Shell: Thank you, and god bless you. So sorry for your loss, much luv, Dee
  12. My hero died October 28th 2005. I've never told anyone the guilt of my dad's death. Aug 25th, is his birthday. Let's journey back almost 2 years ago. Before I started my own company, I worked as a manager for 22 stores in the wireless industry. So, anybody in retail, on this site understands the holiday times. Every year I endured Christmas time, no time off, work every minute and every hour. So, I decided that I would take a few days off, before the Big Christamas holiday would come. October 28th, 2005: My first vacation day: I was getting ready to close on my home/ Nov 1st 2005. (so thankfull, dad was able to help me with the bidding, and drove by my new home). So I went on a shopping spree for my new home. I live in the midwest, it's October, beautiful change of color, (I remember the colorful leaves fallen at my dad's buriel, and I thought, ( thank god for showing me he is here). It was if the yellow, orange, brown leaves flying around, spoke to me and said, "Here I'am Child, do not cry" Anyway, I woke up that day happy, (NO WORK) I went on my shopping spree for the new home. I thought about stopping and seeing my dad that day for coffee, we always would drink coffee together (morning, noon, night) and would talk about, work, polictics, anything. (my dad lived 10mins away from me). But, I remember... A beautiful autumn day, and I shopping for my new home, that I thought was so important. I remember even having a spring to my step that day. 5pm comes, I pick my boy up from school, a neighbor calls and ask if he can spend the night, (must have been god's call, because you see my dad had died already @ 4:30pm) My son Nathan, wants to go. It is 7pm, I vacuumed, mopped, started a load of laundrey, before anyone could get the courage to call me. A call from my older brother (22mos' apart, same town) I remember being happy to see his number popp up, "oh something to do" and (I've always looked up to him, he is an electrical engineer for Cat, smart, handsome,etc. ) Silence for awhile, and then, come to the hospital, dad is not well. What's wrong? I remember asking, and the choke of his voice and I KNEW something was wrong..dad's gone. I dropped my phone and fell to my knees. He calls back, "Are you coming to the hospital" Honestly I didn't want to go, but I'm glad I did. I got to the emergency room (my dad's room with just a white curtain drawn) I walk in...silence, cold, death. But, I put my head on my dad's chest and wept. When I left my dad in the room, all I could think about (@ the time) how many times I laid my head on his chest and cried, but this time, no hand to stroke my head or any words of encourgement. I knew I was alone. I remember a song coming on the radio, called "Hurt" On the way to my dad's funeral. (Johnny Cash, I think a remake of a Nine Inch Nails song). I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. Chorus: What I have I become my sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end.
  13. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, how tragic. I can't imagine the grief in losing a child. I wish I could find words to heal you, but I can't. I will say know he is with you and watching over you. He would want you to take care of his little sister and yourself the best you can right now. Hopefully you can find a local support group, and talk to other's whom have lost children as well. I think talking about it helps in the grieving process, I will keep you in my prayers...god bless, Dee
  14. Dawn G: My story is similiar to yours. My father passed away suddenly. Leaving 3 children and a stepmother behind. My father didn't have a will. So, needless to say it was over one year before his estate settled. My stepmom went completely against my brothers and I. For one she opened my dad's estate one day after the man was buried, (he died on a Friday, and was buried on a Sunday). To make things worse my dad's beloved brother wrote us all off as well, all because of money and greed. See my dad was born in a different country, he shared a great deal of land (which has oil on it) with his siblings. My oldest brother tried to find out about my dads land, because rightfully his share should go to his kids and I guess the evil stepmom. It's sad because my youngest brother is only 15 and this share of my dad's land could help him through college, etc. My uncle hasn't spoke to us for almost 2 years, we believe because of greed. Also, my stepmom would not let us have anything of my dads, except I was lucky enough to get my dad's watch (and a Chicago bears jacket, I took out of his car because I got it for him for Christmas). Just a week ago she called and asked for my dad's watch back, even saying she would pay me for it. Can you believe that? I hung the phone up on her. Good luck, god bless. Dee
  15. Delores, You break my heart, I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain even a little bit. I will cherish this boy that god has given me, even more so now knowing your story. Holidays will be hard, is their anything you could do during the Holidays to honer your special son Sean? Maybe just maybe this would help you get through this month? I will prayer for you each and everyday, that god wraps his arms around you and carry's you through this soooo diffcult time, god bless you!!!!!!!! Much Luv, and so many hugs, Deonna
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