bmsbabygirl

im really sorry for ur loss and the crap u are having to go thru with ur family. u have every right to cry and show emotion. i wouldnt worry about what they say, dont let them get u down like that. crying does make u feel so much better, it was a month yesterday that my dad passed away. i cry at work sometimes, i hate it and everyone probably looks at me weird but i dotn care. if u need to cry then let it out, dont hold it in not matter who u r in front of. idk why people have to act like that, im sure they are hurting just as much as u are, but are just trying to hide it and be strong. i know exactly how u felt when u didnt want to leave ur moms body, it was really hard for me to, at the funeral it was hard for people to come up and see my dad b/c i couldnt tear myself away from him, and then when it was time for the service and they had to take him i was so upset. again i am really sorry for ur loss. please dont let ur family get u down more then u already are. at least u have all of us to talk to. hugs

yesterday as hubby and i were driving to the post office it hit me that it was exactly 1 month that my dad passed away, and the post office we were on our way to was the same one i went to with my dad the day before he died. i started tearing up, and hubby was saying all kinds of things to get my mind off of it and to cheer me up. the 2 unexpected deaths i have experienced in the last 2 yrs has me so afraid of death now. 2 yrs ago me, my mom and dad, my dads best friend and his wife all went out to eat adn then we all went back to my dads best friends house to hang out. well after a few min. of getting into the house and sitting down, my dads best friend went to the bathroom, his wife had to go back there with him b/c he was in a wheel chair and he had only 1 leg so she had to help him get on the toilet. well about 5 min. later his wife went and checked on him and all i heard was "charlie wake up" and my heart just sank, i just knew right then. with my dad he was fine the day before he died, he went with me to the post office, went back home, he worked on my aunt and uncles computer, hung out with my dad before i had to go to work, he was just fine, he seemed like he did any other day. that night he went and sat on the porch with his 2 brothers like he always did on friday nights and then left to go back home and went to bed and died. it just seems so unfair to have someone here one min. and they seem perfectly fine and then the next min. they are gone w/o warning. it just does not seem fair at all. now i have myself so angry just thinking about it.

thank u 2 so much. i had a hard time today. i went to my grandmas b/c my family got together for dinner and i sat down next to my aunt and then i realized i sat where i always sat and where my aunt was sitting was where my dad would always sit when he would be over there watching his mom and they all would eat dinner together, i would go over there and eat with them if i was there around dinner time. my mom cant even stand to go over there anymore. her and my dad always went there and watched after my grandma, but its to hard on my mom to even step foot in taht house now.

i have noticed i havent cried over my dad in a while. its almost like he never existed, and the memories are starting to fade already, then i look at the pics of him and it feels like its still isnt real. im feeling so angry right now, i feel its to soon to already have the memories of him fading away. it will be a month on tuesday. maybes its just my minds way of trying to make me stay strong, idk. i just know when i look at those pics i wnat my daddy back. im just so upset right now, first time i cried over him in a while.

that was a beautiful poem, it made me cry. thanks for sharing that poem.

i know exactly how u feel. ive been feeling the same exact way. i feel like im losing my mind. i honestly feel like im gonna need help to get thru this, i dont think i can handle this myself.

wow that was a very interesting dream. thanks for sharing that with me. i never really told my dad i loved him or hugged him much and the last few days it has been bothering me really bad, and then i have this dream where he comes ot me and tells me everything is gonna be ok and he knows i love him. and then i get to hug him and tell him ilove him one last time before i woke up. i really feel it was my dads way of coming to me. like in ur dream i really think that was ur moms way of coming to u.

lastnight was the first time i had a dream about my dad since he died, he died 2 weeks and one day ago. ive heard stories of peoples whos parents come to them visually to let them know everythings ok, well im scared of the ghosts and spirits stuff, i use to hear and see things all the time when i was younger so im scared to death of that stuff, and my dad knew i was scared of that stuff. but i have been talking to my dad letting him know if he comes to me to please come to me in a dream that way i wont be scared. well lastnight i dreamt that i was at my paretns house and i was sitting in the livingroom with my mom and brother and my dad was sitting on the couch but he was dead and we knew he was dead, but he was only was only dead for a second of the dream, then all of a sudden he was alive and playing with their dog and i look over at my mom and ask her if she sees what i see, and she says yes, then my dad turns to us and starts talking to us, i cant remember exactly what all he says, but then its just me in the house and hes telling me everything will be ok and that he knows i love him and then all of a sudden we are standing near the front door of the house and im scared to hug him b/c i knew he was just laying there dead, but i go up to him and hug him real quick and tell him i love him and miss him so much then i wake up. i dont know if that dream was just a dream or my dads way of coming to me in a dream like i asked him to. what do u guys think? when i woke up i was actually calm, i know usually dreams like that probably would have freaked me out when waking up from it. but i was calm and it made me cry b/c i missed my dad so much and it felt like he came to me.

im really sorry for ur loss. its been exactly 2 weeks today, i had such a hard time at work when i first went in today. i was so stressed and emotional, and then my manager playfully got an attitude with me and it just set me off, i took off really fast to the back and just balled my eyes out, and he came back there apologizing and asking if i was ok. its ok if u dont have any decnet advice, just knowing that i have people to talk to that know what im going thru is all i need.

thank you both so much. i am definetly gonna need to talk to people who knows exactly how im feeling. i will definetly keep coming back. thank u.

my dad passed away 2 saturdays ago in his sleep. im feeling so many emotions at once its driving me crazy, idk which one to feel sometimes. im only 25 yrs old, always thought i would have my dad around for many more years. some days are easier then others. it just still doesnt seem real. none of my friends has lost a parent so i cant really go to them and talk to them about it b/c they dont know how im feeling, i can go to my friends parents or one of the adults i work with, but i just dont feel comfortable talking to them. i just really regret never hugging my dad and telling him i love him, i want nothing more then to see my dad again and give him a big hug and tell him how much i love him. last sunday i went to work and went into the back to put my purse up and a garth brookes song came on the radio and i just lost it, my dad loved garth brookes. im just ready for time to go by so its much easier on me. this just hurts so much.