tenderheart

Walt, I have not really posted until now, only a couple of things. But your coments have brought me foward. As I have said, I have been a Hospice Volunteer for several years, and I too have lost a great love recently. Even though I have volunteered, and as one said, perhaps aware of one s travel to find peace we all so want and know what to expect in weeks, months and years of grieving that loss. We are all differant, and at times do question our beliefs, our spiritual connection with a higher power. So, many times I have asked over and over, is there truly a "God" then why? why God, did you have taken him from this earth, so much he gave to so many people. Questions our own belief. Moving on, well, somedays we have to do certain things, thats life. But other days, can't seem to think what I need to do next. I have professional job and at a mid age of life, I try hard to remember all the things he wanted for me, times we shared, and how proud he was and encouraged me to be all I could and to continue to give to others. Even though its been a short time, 3 months, my life will never be the same. Best friends and love he gave to me, only come once in a life time, so I believe. Where am I going with this? The first thing I do each and every morning is check this site, why?? I get a sense of so much love and compassion from all those here on this site, I find some comfort and peace within my soul. I so visualize each person that writes here, there lives, how life has changed for them. I see people reaching out, and those who can give back... You d think with all the Hospice Training and experience of being with families, I could give something of real value( encouraging words) back to anyone here...sorry not within me right now. Some days one step forward and then several backwards, in my own progress of "healing", it is so hard to move or think ahead for anything but hurt and loniness, but I also try to put my thought s to some positive, you know I would have to hurt now if I hadn't met him, fallen in love, shared yrs of love,laughter and grown as I have, or be who I am today. nor neither would I have had such a wonderful experience to treasure forever.. Certainly your decision, but you have given me something and you are not really aware of it. I am not so good with words on paper at this time, best at hugs and friendship. so hugs to you, and a friend to reach out to if you wish. Tenderheart..

A friend sent this to me... hope you can open it? http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/letter-heaven.php

Hello everyone. I joined this group a few days ago. I am so sorry for all your loss's. I found by reading each and everyone s post has brought somewhat a peace in my soul as I too have lost my very best friend, and also the love of my life. unexpected in May 2007. I also want you aware I have been a Hospice Volunteer for over 7ys. I have been with families and those whom have passed but nothing has ever hit me so hard as the sudden death of my love. I so know so many time he was so proud that I could be so supportable to those whom were dieing and their families, he would want me to continue to try to do so, even though I have been called through my local group to taken on another " client", dislike that word terrible, I always called that person, my "Hospice Friend". I am not ready to do that right now, but I would offer my friendship and an listening ear to anyone here that needs. All our hearts are heavy, times there seems to be no answers, only grief, sorrow, loniness, angry and times we so feel one can not go on. We can, you can, small steps at a time, friends can support that. friends here. This new journey for us and maynot always be easy, days will come when we can smile, laugh and be so thankful that we had our love one with us for the time we had. Other days, our grief comes back. There is no one set of rules in grieving for everyone, and it is totally alright in any way you grief. Again, I heart is heavy for all of you, and please talk to me if you need friendship...hugs to all, Tenderheart