I am so sorry for your loss - grief due to death is one of the worst things a person can go through in their life. Grief due to divorce is very close to it, only different. I can honestly say that the divorce I went through 25 years ago with the father of my 2 children is the worst experience I've had in my life. It took me 4 years to feel some what normal again, and while I did eventually remarry, he never replaced the loss I felt about losing the father of my children. I have more recently lost 2 other members of my to death, and perhaps I can handle it better because I've matured in the last 25 years, but it has not been as difficult as that divorce 25 years ago! I think each person gauges / handles / mourns losses differently, so while for you the loss of your father to death is the WORST, that may not be true for someone else. Just know that all of us mourn in our own way, and I pray for everyone that seeks help on this board. Just reading your stories have lifted my spirits & made me feel part of a caring community. Thank you all---