Report My Only Love Is Gone in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other Posted June 22, 2004 Hello everyone. I just lost my boyfriend to pancreatic cancer 3 weeks ago. we lived together for 8 years and he was a major part of my life. He was my 1st kiss, 1st date, etc.. so his death has turned my whole world upside down. I just wish I could show the whole world how great a man we all lost. He had a larger than life personality which perfectly complemented my shy, quiet nature. How could someone so funloving and strong be taken out of this world- and away from me. I don't cry as much as I would have expected, I think that I may still be in shock. He was diagnosed only 1 month before he died. I cried more when he was in the hospital, it was a big adjustment for me to accept that he was sick. Why him? I just need help with the intense lonliness that I feel. I'm afraid that I'll be alone forever. I think that reading all the posts on this site will help me to see that I'm not alone so I'll come here regularly. I chose the name goldsunshine 897 because I thought it would uplift me.