Poco

Dear Shell, It is so tough to lose a MOM and especially one who loves so unconditionally. Here's wrapping you heart with hugs and understanding your pain. Take care. Poco

Thanks so much. It means so much to me---especially today. Poco

Does anyone remember the site where I can go online and light a birthday candle for my Mom? Have been searching, but no luck.

You aren't a nobody, but are somebody and are lonely during this time. You shouldn't have to hold it together when you've lost someone precious. Feeling no one understands is devastating to our inner beings. I search daily for strength to go on and I think by being able to share with others in this place is helpful. Thanks for sharing your feelings. Poco

Lori, Thanks for writing back. This forum really does help. I only wish I had the guts to tell my sister how much she has hurt me by her actions and words. She is 10 years younger than me and I have been there for her since the day she was born--through 30+ years of a very rocky marriage, kid challenges, etc. Now she won't talk anymore--only on the surface. Seems like since Mom died she broke a link in the family circle of love. In her mind, its OK for me to feel lost and suffer. I think that maybe she thinks it's my turn since she felt that her own life was miserable for so long. She tells me that Mom's star comes out for her every night, but I can't find the star. We will make it through this. I just hope and pray that Mom doesn't know what is going on. Her last words to me were, "Please always stay close to your brother and your sister. I'm OK with my brother. He was never one to share his emotions, etc. But, my sister and I have always been so close. Thanks for caring. Poco

Roseann We will find peace one day, but I wish it were tomorrow. Mom's are that very special person in our lives. Every time I think of my Mom, I end up sobbing. It is comforting to know that others share the same feelings. I just hate it when people say, "She's in a better place. You wouldn't want her back, would you?" Well, right now I long to have her comforting shoulder and to tell me everything will be all right. Poco

Dear Angel, Always hold your grandmother's memory close to your heart. Those cherished memories are yours to treasure forever. The bad memories will fade away. My grandchildren just lost their Grammy. They wrote letters to her telling her about the legacy she left them and then how they hoped to pass it forward. Hugging your heart, Poco

Boy, can I ever relate to how you must be feeling. My Mom had a severe stroke and lingered for 7 days. I called my sister and she flew out to be here. The whole time she was here, it was all about her--never mind that my husband, children, and grandchildren where there for her daily for 25 years. Mom died at 3:18 May 1st and my sister was on a plane by 6:30am that morning. I didn't know what hit me. Mom just died and we had to worry about flights. Then to boot, the Saturday before she died, Mom's life was wiped out in 30 gallon trash bags under the guise that it was a big help to me. I'm just now realizing that I didn't have the sense to realize what the ramifications would be later. I had promised Mom that if she ever died, I would take her ashes back home. My sister couldn't even bother to pick me up at the airport. There's more yucks to the story, but yes I, too, am angry and bitter and feeling betrayed. My precious Mom must be crying tears in Heaven because she always wanted her children to remain close. People say that I should dust my feet and move on, but right now, I can't. Why can't the court intervene? Sounds to me like you are the rightful heirs to the land. Thinking about you and your frustrations. Hope your tomorrows are better. Poco

Thanks Shell. I sometimes wish I could really really say what is on my mind, but am afraid of being judged. I know we all come from different circumstances as we experience this journey. Close family has let me down big time--they are not there for any support. Mom was always there. Hope your day is filled with pleasant memories. Poco

Shell, Thanks for the shoulder. I am sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is tough. I got through the first month because there was so much to do winding up some of Mom's affairs. Now there is nothing to do but missing her dreadfully. The days and the hours seem endless. I always said, "This too shall pass," but I don't know now. Mom was 91, but she was my cheerleader. Hugging your heart, Poco

Thanks for your kind words. Why does family desert at a time like this when Mom's death should have brought us closer. The tension is thick and I wish I could fix it for Mom's sake. I know she is crying in Heaven and it breaks my heart.

Even though I am not an only child, I can empathize. I have cared for my Mom since 1988. She was so involved in the life of my children and greatgrandchildren. The day Mom died, my brother and sister went back to their homes and their lives. Two days after Mom died, I went back to teaching. Being around others and getting involved helped me in the initial stages. But this summer has been extremely hard because school is out. I, too, am looking for a way to move forward. Mom was my best friend. Good luck tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you. Poco

I have been searching my heart for ways to deal with the anger and bitterness that consumes me since my Mom died on May 1, 2007. So far the fire seems to grow and grow and I can't seem to find a soul who will give me the opportunity to talk about my feelings and experiences. I am not a spring chicken and feel inadequate to handle the pain of Mom's loss as a mature adult. I know life goes on, but I wake up every morning feeling no joy for a new day and can't seem to feel the joy of the blessings I do have.