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WendyJ

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Everything posted by WendyJ

  1. Thank you Marty, I hope all is well for you....yes I will pass on your well wishes to the rest. We have all stayed in touch and some of us are still very close. Kay my dearest friend I am sorry I missed your call a couple weeks ago. My phone is so messed up from a switchover to another company that is worse than the original one. Kay write me privately please, seems this has now turned to others on their own sad journey and I don't want to interupt. Hugs, Wendy
  2. Oops forgot Gail in Canada, she is doing very well also and remarried. I also have kept in touch with Mary Linda here and there, what a sweet lady. Wendy
  3. I came here tonight to answer a personal message and decided I had to say hello before I left. Where is our old crowd? Teny, Walter etc. I am hanging in there, still just going through the motions, I lost my Step-dad last January, that was rough. My mom is still in remission from her cancer thank goodness. My Grandmother is still in the Nursing Home with Alzheimers...she will be 99 yrs young this July ! I am now retired at only 54 because I had to go on permanant disability as I have COPD and am on Oxygen 24/7 and I also have Congestive Heart Failure. On a lighter note Fred is doing well, Derek got married, Kim is taking courses at college and doing well. Oh yes and my good buddy William also got married to a lovely girl (he went by Stallyn) and we are all still in touch. Anyone still out there from about five years ago? Love and Hugs, WendyJ
  4. Hello Marty have missed you dearly, hope all is okay with you. Been poking my head in and out for awhile, just lost my dad in January..its been rough. Still close with alot of people that I met here, talk to them daily. Will try to stop in more often when I can. Wendy
  5. Lotus Blossom, I do not come on here much anymore but this new post came to my inbox of my email and I had to respond. My Grandmother has been battling this for many years now, she is now 97 and in a Nusrsing Home also. When they get to the point of where your Mom is and my Grandmother is sadly they do not remember 5 mins later who was even there to visit. The visiting now is mainly for us to visit and to check on them and help in any way we can. My advice to you would be if possible to move her close to you so you can be with her and check on her and not near where your brother is, sounds to me like he should not be trusted with her and the nursing home does not know this or they would not have let him walk out with her. Between mostly my Mom and Aunt and myself we take turns visiting with my Grandmother and checking on her health etc and other family members visit when they can, I can not imagine the only person who mostly visits is your brother. Would he notice a bruise on her wrist like I did or possible bed sores? Not if he is drunk he wouldn't, and these are things to look out for even in the best nursing homes. Think about it please. Wendy
  6. Teny my dear sweet friend I have not gone anywhere and no I have not recovered, not sure I ever will. It is just over 3 years now, I still hurt, I still cry...some days more than others. I probably sleep more than I should at times, I think it is just depression. I had finally admitted to myself that I have been through entirely too much the last couple years, 2 of which are my Grandmother and my Mom continuing to fight her cancer. The rest I care not to mention and 1 was just a very stupid mistake on my part. I wouldn't mind meeting another special someone if that is possible there could be another one, but I do not care to date, had enough of that horrible experience. I just try to take life day by day and other than seeing family I go to work and then I go home...I feel safer there and closer to Steve. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing, so nice to hear from you my dear faraway friend. Love Always, Wendy
  7. Thank You so much ! I am sorry I never got notification this was here yesterday or else I would have answered sooner. I had a good day at work, one of my bosses and his wife prepared me a nice breakfast and gave me nice gifts. My daughter took me out to dinner and we had a wonderful time and talked for hours. We then went home and she had alot of gifts for me and by time we were done in thanking her I started to cry. She is so sweet and wonderful and tries to make up for the fact that Steve is no longer here to help me celebrate. Next week her and I will have our birthdays celebrated with the family, and that should be nice also.Somehow I got through yet another year of my birthday and recently his birthday, his death anniversary and our 31st wedding anniversary. Thanks Again, Wendy
  8. I too am sorry for your loss and can associate with your series of bad happenings. In just a years time I lost 2 childhood friends, then our beloved Golden Retriever died suddenly the morning before our oldest daughters wedding, 4 months later very unexpectedly I lost my husband, then within the next 4 months I lost a Grandmother to cancer, my Mom was diagnosed with not only Lupus but lung cancer, my Grandmother developed Alzheimers and had to be put in a nursing home and was devastated by the loss of a relationship that now looking back I wish never happened. Somehow I am getting through this and know that you will too..it just takes time. Coming here and expressing yourself is a good way to start and great therapy for yourself Love, Wendy
  9. Suzzane, first I want to say how sorry I am for your loss of your husband. Even though some of us have drifted from here we do stop in now and again and sometimes feel compelled to offer up some advice to someone like yourself who is new to this whole horrible experience. You know in your heart that no matter what you do, you will never be able to forget your dear husband, the reason you are not looking at his pictures mostly because it just hurts so damn much to do so, this I know. I just passed the 3 year mark and would you believe I am having a harder time so far this year then I did last year? Why, I have no idea...maybe reality is just setting in? You are going to go through so many changes during this time, you will take pictures down, put them back up again, be able to listen to music, then not be able to for crying your heart out, you will realize he is gone from this earth forever, yet next minute you will think of something you need to tell them etc . All of what you are going to go through I guarantee will be normal and most of us have or are still going through this. I am confused also to whether they see us or hear us or not...how do any of us know for sure and I do not talk to him that often as it always ends with me crying my heart out, so I just try not to. You said one major point, you are trying to tell us what is going on inside of your head and heart...that is the problem right there. Your head is telling you one thing and your heart is telling you another, so you do not know which one to believe. This is so confusing I know, but know you are never alone here, we will help you in any way we can and even though you do not realize it, but may later, you are helping us here too, this you will understand in time. Love, Wendy
  10. Thank you so much to all of you for your kindness. Marty I loved the candle, brought me to tears, thank you. Love, Wendy
  11. You and your daughter will most definately be in my prayers. The prayers of this group works miracles, it has for me. Love Always, Wendy
  12. To all my friends, I have wonderful news about my Grandmother that I wanted to share with you. Although she is very thin from lack of her not eating and drinking much prior to going in the hospital she is now doing wonderfully. They found that all the problems we have had in the last few months such as mood swings ( some violent) weekness, always sleeping, no longer walking etc all had to do with becoming dehydrated. They have since taken her off the multiple meds they had her on except for her diabetes. Although she has Alzheimers she is back to her old self and was talking last night, concerned whether we had all eaten and if we were warm enough, oh yes and kept trying to give us all money ...lol. She was even watching tv which she hasnt done in years and joking with us and the nurses...I can not tell you how excited we are to have her back to almost her old self again and I truly believe if she had not gone into the hospital she would have passed at the Assisted Living Home as her kidneys were failing. She is going today to a Nursing Home for a week for rehabilitation and we are looking into her staying there as we refuse to allow her to go back to where she has been even though it was supposed to have been one of the top places around..Bull*&#@ They never even allerted us to bed sores she has. I just wanted to let everyone know of her progress and to thank everyone again from the bottom of my heart as all your prayers were certainly answered. It is so comforting to be part of a wonderful family that really cares and will be there to lift you when needed. Love Always, Wendy
  13. Thank You all for your prayers and well wishes, I wish I had more news to share with you at this time but I do not. Sadly hospitals are not like I remember when I worked in the lab, we are still waiting for urine tests sent down to the lab this morning. Hospitals are so understaffed any more it is actually scarey to have to be admitted to one and as my sister and I have found out when my mom has been admitted a few times you constantly need someone there to look out for you and your well being. My Grandmother is as Fred said 95 years old with Alzheimers and has been in an Assisted Living Home for a few months now as my Mom has cancer and the care for her not only became dangerous but too much for her to handle. She no longer has an appetite and barely drinks anything so this has badly dehydrated her, which had caused the kidneys to start to shut down. They may have caught this in time, the tests we are waiting on will show us this, but there is the fear once she goes back to the home this will only happen again as they can not force her to eat and drink, and to make matters worse she is also diabetic. The day after Thanksgiving they gave us a private room at the home and we brought in all our family tradition foods which were her recipies, and she made faces at them all except the whipped cream. ( God love her ) At that time she seemed pale and very tired, but we thought maybe it was one of the medications she was on. You all mean the world to me and I truly believe that all your prayers may be the reason she seems to be holding her own right now, and for that I am so very grateful, I will let you know as soon as I know more from the doctors. All my love, Wendy
  14. Thanks so much and my Steve was the same way, always took such good care of me...I miss him terribly ! (((HUGS))) Wendy

  15. Thank you Kathy, I hope you feel better soon also. The minute the doctor told me I had a herniated disc in my neck my first thought was to tell Steve as he always wondered why my neck was always bothering me and why I would always ask him to give me a massage which always helped. I then realized he is not here to tell, strange after almost 3 years how you can still forget sometimes. Love Always, Wendy
  16. Thanks so much Jeanne, I think about you and the others all the time and miss everyone very much. Like Teny I will be approaching the 3 year mark soon and this has been one hell of a ride for me and lately I have gone way back in my grieving and I do not want the new people to feel that they can not progress and move on by listening to me. For some reason also just reading all the new peoples posts seems to set me back also, I am not sure why but it does. I will try more to check in here and there when my neck is more healed. Thanks so much for saying hello.... Hugs and Prayers, Wendy
  17. Teny my far away friend, I am sorry I have not been on much or replied to your personal message. I have a herniated disc in my neck and it is very painful and being on the computer makes it worse. I could never forget you my dear friend and am in much the very same place you are. I am missing Steve more than ever and wishing he was here every minute of every day... especially now as my health is not so good, he used to take care of me when I needed him, now I just cry here all alone. I too have very loving family and friends but it is just not the same, there are quite a few of us here whom I believe will not move on as well as the others, so sad. I will be with you on Monday Teny, just like I always want to be. Love Always, Wendy
  18. I am so sorry for the loss of your step brother, please accept my condolences. Wendy
  19. Shelly this is what I would do if I was in your shoes right now. I would take the ashes to a funeral home, does not have to be the one you used. Ask them to take some of the ashes and put them in a separate container for you, simple ones are very inexpensive. Then give the ashes to your family and tell them to do what they want with them. Believe me they will not even know any are gone and if I were you I would not even tell them you have some. You can even get some kind of container yourself, people use all kinds of things such as jewelry boxes, glass jars with tops etc. You could even eventually get one of those neclaces like I got on Ebay that you can wear around your neck with some ashes in, I had a funeral home put some of Steve's ashes in mine. Of course you can also do this yourself if it does not bother you to do so, I would have suggested for you to tell them you are keeping a small amount but it does not sound like they are willing to accept that, good luck. Wendy
  20. Hey guys, I too have Steve's ashes at home but also have some of his ashes in a cremation locket, mine is a dove and I purchased mine on Ebay a couple years ago. Boo I seat belted Steve's ashes too when I brought him home and felt such a wonderful sense of relief once he arrived back hme where he belongs. Love Always, Wendy
  21. Hello my family, I don't know what more I can say but thank you for all your prayers and words of encouragement and thanks so much Kay for posting this but most of all for being one of my dearest friends. There seems to be so much going on, but then again that seems to be my life lately, I guess it has been that way for years, just seems like it is starting to get worse as my Mom's cancer is fighting back more now and my Grandmother really doesn't know now who we are and is having a rough time in the home. To visit her is truly heartbreaking and hard for me to even talk about here. I am sorry I have not been here much, but although there are some happy memories here despite all the pain we are going through there are also ones that break my heart, those of you who are close to me know what I mean. I will try to keep in touch as much as I can, I miss you all terribly and love you all very much. Love Always, Wendy
  22. Boy do I know how you feel ! I have had the same fear all along also. In October of 2006 my husband had been shopping around for a good industrial sewing machine so that he could sew leather for seats and such on Motorcycles. The prices were extremely high for new ones so we searched on Ebay. Well the one we had won was being shipped from Florida and to make a long story semi-short it arrived old and worn and broken from bad packaging for shipping. We tried over and over to make things right with this irate idiot and his wife and finally had to report him to Ebay and he was kicked out. Our final email from him before we blocked him was how they put a wicked curse on us and that we would regret crossing him till the day we died. Well a week later my best friend from my childhood, Jack died of a heart attack, three days later Steve's Golden Retriever died of an blood clot. Within 5 months I lost Steve to a blood clot that went to his heart, then within a couple months my Mother was diagnosed with Lupus and with Lung Cancer. Also at this point my Grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimers that is now so bad she has to go into a nursing home in a couple weeks. I also had another Grandmother who died of cancer and a very special relationship to me that ended. I can honestly say I have been miserable ever since and although people have told me it is coincidence, I do not believe so. So I certainly can understand your feeling this way, I am one also who feels like she has been cursed for life. Love Always, Wendy
  23. Sorry I missed your birthday Kim, hope it was a special one. Love Always, Wendy
  24. William you know how much I love you and am so happy that you are doing so well, gosh it seems like just yesterday you were getting out of your apartment and buying a house, remember how scared you were and all the hours of chatting? You have come such a long way and I think out of all of us you have come the furthest of all of us. I know how rough the road was for you and how so very strong you are to overcome all of the obstacles and demons that were in your way. I hope we can all someday be as happy as you are now, great job my friend, I told you that you were stronger than you thought ! I am so proud to call you one of my closest and dearest friends ! Love Always, Wendy
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