As someone who has lived without her father for 6 years now, I can tell you that the rollar coaster of grief never really goes away. The twists and turns will always be there, and they will always be a surprise, but they do level off somewhat, as you get used to the sensation. In the beginning, I found the knowledge that the pain would ease with time more painful than anything. I was so scared that I would forget my father, as I was only 14 when he died. I'm happy to report that time has not faded my memories, though they certainly should of since I can rarely remember where I left my wallet, let alone events that happened years ago. Crying helped me more than anything. I couldn't cry for the longest time, it wasn't until I started back to school the September that my dad died that things really hit me. (He died in July). I had about a week, where I just cried and cried. But after that week, I came out partially healed. Understand, that you will never really be healed. There will always be a scar, but it'll stop aching so after a time. Five months isn't a long time, but it can also be an eternity. Please don't try to compare your grief to anyone else. It's a process unique to each individual. That said, I found it helpful to read a book on grief. There really are stages, and I found it freeing to read about them. But don't pay attention to any book that gives you a time frame for grief. Take it as you need it.