mikel74

Thank you all for sharing your stories, I admire the strength and perseverance that you all showed me. The thing that scares me is I feel like I am going to be this way forever, always thinking about what we missed together, or what could have been. It hurts so bad... and nothing can make it better. I keep hearing about, as time goes on it will get easier, its not getting easier, Im just ignoring it. I just want to see her again, touch her, kiss her, hug her, anything, to hear her. And to go the rest of my life knowing that will never happen is killing me inside.

Thank you Wendy, and I am so sorry for your loss as well. I know things happen for a reason, but its just like, what the heck is the reason for this, Im alone, I dont see the reason to go on. We didnt even start our lives together and its like Im supposed to go out there and find someone else? No one will ever make me feel the way she did. And if I cant have that feeling again whats the purpose??

Hello to anyone that is reading, My name is Mike. I am 33 yrs old and I lost my 26 yr old gf in January to small bowel cancer. Saying I loved her more than life itself would be an understatement. I cant even begin to describe how much I loved her and still love her. I know there is no right or wrong way to grieve and I thought for a while I was doing ok, I was kind of just going with the flow. But lately its been rough. I think about her constantly, I pretend that everything is ok around people because I dont want my issues being a burden on anyone else. Or people to think I am having a pity party. She was on life support for the last month of her life, and each night I cant help but replay that entire month in my mind. I dont want to think about it, but its like I have no control over it. All it does is depress me, and I dont know what else to do. I have read countless boards like these seeing what others that have felt or still feel the pain I do, are doing to help with the pain. But no matter what I read, nothing makes me feel better because all I want is for her to be with me. I go to the cemetary and lie next to her grave because its the closest I can be to her. I know I am not the only one to lose someone, And its so confusing to know that and still feel like you are all alone.