BruzersDaddy

Hi y'all It is a very wet and rainy day in Phoenix. My boy Bruzer would always burrow under the covers and get really close to us when it rained. I think he actually liked the rain but not thunder or lighting. We are experiencing many "first" as Bruzer has only been gone a short while. This is the first rain, the first holiday season and so on since he passed away in October. This Saturday will be the first local pet bereavement meeting we will have attended and we are looking forward to it. Seeing other people who understand the intense grief that such a loss brings will hopefully be comforting. Many of us go through our lives oblivious to other people until we find a connecting event. My boy has taught me to be compassionate and understanding with others. I am sure most of you know that Dog spelled backwards is God. There is a song I am fond of that has a verse that says, "God is alive in the face of a dog". I am not a religious person but I do consider myself to be a spiritual being. God is however we understand God. Different to many people I am sure. And by the way, Cats and other animals are just as special too. I guess that is it for now. I just felt the need to check in. Thanks again to all of you for being here and sharing. It means a lot to us. Happy Holidays Bruzers Mom and Dad, Kevin and Pamela

Maylissa, Many thanks for your wealth of information and kind words. I shall embark on the journey to connect with my dear boy Bruzer in new ways. I have come up with a phrase that is helping me through this transitional period of my life. "Feel the colors, see the sounds, hear the light. Life is to be experienced in many different ways." Author Kevin B. Phoenix, AZ Make sense to you? Best Regards, Kevin Here is another picture of my boy, Bruzer. And yes, I miss him like a part of my soul is gone.

Thank you Maylissa! I really enjoyed that. I hope this doesn't sound spooky or weird but have you heard or read anything about possibly communicating with our companions spirit after they have left the physical form? I believe every living thing is made up of unique energy that doesn't end when the physical form dies. Sound possible to you? Thanks, BruzersDaddy, Kevin

Very well said Waabzy. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well. This is the first holiday season without my dear boy, Bruzer (BooBooBear, Buhda, Little Man, Phat Dog etc...) and it's very hard. Especially Thanksgiving, as he was always "under foot" trying to talk you into a bite, or a plate for himself! I too thank the Creator for bringing him into my life for 12 years after 5 years with my sister-in-law. He was 17 this August and of course I wanted 17 more but it was not to be. He passed away last month. I hope all of us in grief are able to give-thanks for the cherished time we have had with our Fur-Children. For me, as I am sure many of you, it is bittersweet. A smile or a laugh is often followed with sadness and tears. The loss is still new and very sensitive but each day I try to honor him with good memories and less tears. I miss him so much it hurts. Thanks again everyone for being here and sharing. I know many of us likely check for new posts everyday, even if we can only appreciate in silence due to the overwhelming grief. In loving memory of the best being I will ever know, my Son, Bruzer! Happy Holidays Everyone! (Here is a recent picture of him at a parade. He seems more interested in Mommy who is in the car!) Kevin

This is the hardest thing I have experienced in my life thus far. Some days have been better than others however none of them have been good. Make sense to anyone? I can't seem to function at anything very effectively if at all. In my first post I titled it "life has no color, now that they are gone." Referring to the death of both my mother and my Son Bruzer in the month of October. It continues to feel that way and has an overwhelming sense of emptiness to it as well. I can't work (I am self employed so no work no pay) I can't sleep well. I don't get excited or look forward to anything anymore because "Whats the point, my Son is gone". Thank HOV for providing this forum. I check it several times a day to see if anyone had replied or if other posts have helpful insight into this experience. Of course they often do as there are many of us out there going through similar pain and loss. With Fur-Children and/or Human. My wife and I are at times supportive with each other and at times hard on each other to "get over it" he's gone, we have work to do. We need to sell our house due to financial constraints but the market is so bad right now. Also, when we sell we will likely have to find a home for our Parrot Sydney of 14 years as renting an apartment or a house with such a loud (and yes messy and destructive) pet at times is not easy. We also have a Golden Retriever we have had for 4 years that was going to be trained as a service dog for a disabled family member. Well that didn't work out because his temperament is to timid. We will likely need to find him a new home as well. For those of you who may be wondering, I believe in providing for an animal for life. That means either they stay in the family or they are found excellent qualified homes that will improve the quality of everyones life that is involved. It's not easy to do but it can be done if one is committed to the care and happiness of the animal. None the less, it's more loss that I know I have to go through in the coming weeks and months. It's just so hard to do when life has no color and I can't seem to get out of bed. Thanks for being there everyone. My heart goes out to all of you. BruzersDaddy, Kevin

Waabzy-Amber, thank you for the kind reply. I was just reading some of the earlier posts and I like the meanings and origins of you dogs names! Bruzer was somewhat bow-legged in the front so if you were looking at him straight on he looked like he was striking a bodybuilders pose, flexing his muscles. It just seemed to fit him along with his attitude and size. Have you ever heard of a publication called "Native Peoples Magazine"? My neighbor who passed away from cancer nearly 2 years ago was the founder and former publisher and editor. Here is the link if you find it of interest, Native Peoples Magazine Congrats on your new family member, Yukon Jack! I added a couple more pics to the post above and here is another showing my tough little guy with one of his many spiked collars! BruzersDaddy-Kevin

Wow, my wife, BruzersMom of course, and I are amazed at how profound the experiences many of us have in common. Not just with our kids but our families as well. We want to let you all know we feel for your loss and have gained comfort and understanding through this powerful forum of sharing. Waabzy/Nvwati: Your trouble with pictures (strangest thing) and your thought that Nvwati wants you to keep his/her "pictures in your mind". Beautifully said. Thank you again for sharing your loss and relationship you had with your mother and the differences in the grief experienced. Maylissa/Nissa/Sabin: Your posts are a wealth of information and insight! How we can relate so much to the thought that there are "never enough pictures". We have been going crazy trying to find as many pictures as we can, both digital and film. Maybe Nvwati is telling us all that the best pictures remain in our minds! Piscesmoon5/Pepper: Know that your loss and your feelings are valid. If others think you should be "over it" already they just don't understand and have likely never experienced the unconditional, very special love of an animal. They ARE our kids! As far as "feeling guilty" goes, please don't do that to yourself. We are finding that ALL of us has guilt/regret(s) for something that we did or didn't do. Somewhere we've read that when we do this we are stealing from ourselves and the memories we have. RykersMom/Ryker: Your post is so familiar to us and what we experienced with Bruzer. From the "public vs. private tears". To feeling guilty about doing the "right thing". Bruzer had many of the same symptoms that Ryker did. It sounds like your describing him when you say "something snapped in his mind, a few hours a day he was good, the others he was nervous and afraid, part of you died with him". Please know that we did take Bruzer to the Veterinary Neurological Center (VNC) and had every possible test done, sparing no expense and the findings were as they said "unremarkable" and that it was likely just old age. We brought him home and he passed 2 days later. Tami/Sheeba: We are also married, in our forties and have no human kids. Your loss is no less profound and deserving of the grieving process than that of a human loss. We know that loving fur-children is knowing that we will likely out live them. That is fundamentally different than with human kids. Thank you all again for being here and sharing your lives with us. Bruzers- Mom and Dad!

I am new here and am not sure I am even doing this right. I just wanted to get something out there to thank all of you for being there. Your posts have given me some comfort in what is easily the worst period of my life thus far. I lost my dear baby boy Bruzer of 17 years and my mother both within a few weeks of each other. I am posting this here because, with no disrespect to my mother, the loss of my sweet, amazing, larger than life, better person than most 2 legged people, my son, Bruzer, has hit me even harder than the loss of my mother. You see, my mother was not in my life much in the last 18 years but my boy, Bruzer was. My wife and I have no human children and we are in our 40's now. I was surprised to read posts by other people who's furbabies are/were their kid(s) and it has made me smile knowing that their are people out there that while we may never meet, truly understand that our kid(s) are no less precious because they are not human! I am usually very eloquent in my speech and writings but today I am at a loss for words. My boy Bruzer was a Chihuahua-Dachshund mix that without a day of any kind of training, was the best behaved, good-natured, intelligent being I have ever met! He left this earth on Sunday, at home, in our bed, were he always slept and we are fortunate for that. He was old and had been getting weaker the last few months. How my heart goes out to any of you that have had to make the "decision" for yourselves. I will close for now and try to write something more......meaningful....worthy of him....to sad now...thank you all again. Bruzers Daddy.