Dear Brin, I lost my dog of six years to GME, granulomatous meningoencephalitas. It was hard to let her go in such a healthy condition. I could bear it more if she'd had a full life but being cut down in middle age was so hard. I used to tease her that she was middle aged like me. This disease has no cure and it is not known what causes it. I could have put her on chemo but she could have died from it immediately or died from the ear infection she had because chemo is an immuno supressant. I don't understand how she had the ear infection because she had the best veterinary care in the world and I took her every year for her updates. But there was no noticible signs of ear infection on the outside. No drainage etc . etc. Her ear looked healthy. The chemo would have cost 345 dollars per week and I couldn't be with her through it. She could have died suffering and she might not have been able to enjoy herself. I'll never know if I did the right thing because if I had put her on chemo maybe she would have had a miraculous recovery. Or she could have died terribly and I had no idea which would have happened. All I know is that most of the vets said that the outcome would probably not be good and Zap was a very gregarious dog who didn't like being ill. The grief was tremendous on the day I buried her. But I built her a memorial page on my website and I wrote a poem about her. This and all the pictures I have of her helps but I don't think I'll ever get over her and the decision I had to make to euthanize her. I hope it's getting better. Don't feel guilty. It's the hardest thing to do but you did the right thing. (((hugss)) Zap's mom
