hi allalone! i am extremely sorry for the loss of your dear mom! i am going through just losing my dad, the sweetest, most amazing, comforting father ever. my dad died september 19, just two days short of his 66th birthday! we took him to hospice friday, and he died wednesday morning! words cannot express the pain i feel, and i know that everyone here know this pain! i am relieved to have found this site, and know that we are here for eachother to help get through things that maybe others don't understand, or don't want to hear! i know that i have not so great days, but i have better days too! the better days show me promise of another better day! i have eight year old twins, and i try to stay in the moment and breathe...if not always for myself, i do it for them! my husband is emotionally unavailable to me at times, when he retreats from fear, and i don't know what to do. i'm just trying to do the best i can, one day at a time...one minute at a time. i know it's corny, but concentrating on breathing and being alive is all i can do sometimes! i know that my dad, who had a strong faith in the spiritual side of this life and beyond, would want me to do the best i can to maintain happiness and peace for myself...and this is what i try to remember during this horrible grief of losing him. our loved ones' deep love for us has to be remembered, and through this we can help eachother. thanks for listening. mollie