Hi. I'm new here. I continue my search for something, anything to cling on to so that I can go on with my life without Dad. He passed away 6 months ago, and my pain, I realize, continues to take different forms. It's hurting more... even though I kept thinking it can't get worse. I can't go to my Dad's grave. I wish I was there once in a while, just to sit there quiet and talk to him ...silently. I wish I could light a candle there, instead of here, thousands of miles away, on my piano, remembering the days he used to ask me to play his favorite song (a Julio Iglesias song that the singer sang at the opening of a Soccer World Cup back in the eighties). I am not even religious anymore. Before Dad passed away I did pray every night. I now do it because they say it's good to do it. I don't have anyone to really talk to about what I feel. My husband fell into a strong depression as well and I don't want to worsen his health. I have a good friend with whom I opened my heart once, but she started to cry and I felt guilty about it. I feel alone and ..miss my Dad so much. Two months after he passed, I graduated Magna Cum Laude from a respected college. I obtained a very good job. Still, I feel I can't keep up the fight anylonger. I need to cry and find some peace. Mother just told me she is filing a lawsuit against how a house on my Dad's name is now being shared among his legal inheritors. She is not financially well. I am in pain and want to find some peace. I need to feel THAT connection with my Dad. But I don't feel I know where he is... . I appreciate any thought. Thanks. Be well.
