arizonalatina1978

Russ, As I read your post, my heart aches for you. I too of course am experiencing the same thing. Somedays are better than others. As far as everyone else getting on with their life? Don't worry so much about them. It sounds as if your Mother and you had a special relationship. And a relationship like that, I know will take some time. I too lost my mother 'unexpectantly'. She had, had her ups and downs and close calls during the year. But she was getting better, or so we thought. The day before she got sick, I spent all morning with her, having our favorite breakfast, never knowing that she was dying in front of me. Like your Mom, she was happy. I know all about the 'missing' hugs thing. It pains me sometimes thinking that I didnt give her enough hugs & kisses, or that I didnt spend enough time with her. But we both should remember, hard as it may that we were lucky enough to give them our love and more importantly that we were able to receive their love. This is something that I tell myself EVERYDAY, EVERY HOUR and EVERY MINUTE since I lost Mom. We have to be strong. I know that is said to us sooo many times. But its true. I am new at this whole thing, its been a year since I lost my Mother. And I know I havent fully accepted what has happened and how its changed my life. But hopefully by doing this - and sharing my experiences, limited as they have been it'll help me. I hope that something I've said gives you comfort. I know from experience there is NO ONE that can replace Mom. We just have to keep moving, as difficult as it is. Be strong, and take care!! Always, Wendy

Hello everyone...People call me Wendy, and this is definitely something that I thought I'd never be doing. I lost my mother almost exactly one year ago, November 2, 2003. I think about her everyday. And still I dont think I have accepted what has happened!? People are always telling me that I need to 'let it out', I need to 'cry' - and I do, sometimes, yet I always stop myself. Even now - a year later, I dont know what to do or say. I am 26 years old, and more than ever - I need my mother and she's not here. I dont know what I feel anymore. Coming from a big family of 9, I realize that all of us are dealing with this in different ways. And as close as we are, you'd think that we'd be able to help each other through something like this. But amazingly, and sadly - we have only drifted farther apart since my mother's death. I have no idea if the rest of my family has come to terms with Mom's death, but I know I haven't. Where do I start - how do I make this hurt go away?Can someone tell me how to just start dealing with this?? Someone please give me some advice.... Thanks, Wendy